*Mompetitors* from Down Under (and I don't mean Australia)

I first saw this piece of hilarity on a blog I like to read and I had to watch it at least 4 times before I could stop laughing. I guess part of the humor in it was being able to caricature-ize some of the very conversations I have felt myself *cornered* into. As a friend, I tend to keep most of my opinions to myself while my Inner Voice is extremely critical of me - sometimes holding myself to standards not even the fictional Blondie Mompetitor could keep up with... which in turn leads to severe MGS (mommy guilt syndrome) AKA sleepless nights and empty ice-cream cartons.


A few facts you may not know about me:

• I breastfeed my babies without schedules until they wean naturally
  
• We have a *limited* family bed - my babies sleep between me and a mesh bed rail until they are ready to sleep through the night (anywhere from 6 months to 2 years depending on the kid)
• We do not have Cable TV or any TV in our home and our kids don't play video/computer games (yet?)
• I don't use cloth diapers -we use Pampers and Huggies and that's because there is a huge water shortage in my country AND I have enough laundry to do....

While I do enjoy living in a somewhat sheltered bubble that we've created for our family, I also lead my life as an open-minded, loving, and accepting person. I hope that's who I am perceived as too err... and on that note I bring you the horrifying M O M P E T I T O R S!

The Settled Baby

I own a few parenting books ranging from breastfeeding and child development to general parenting. One of my favorites is Your Baby & Child by Penelope Leach and every once in a while I browse through and read about the stage my baby is in. Leach writes in a loving tongue rarely putting things in stark black and white. She is pro-breastfeeding but non-judgmental about bottle feeding. She encourages thoughtful and loving parenting. Her book is beautifully illustrated with colorful photographs of parents and babies in sometimes inspiring realistic photos. Leach writes loosely when it comes to baby milestones such as sitting, crawling, and walking. Never does she state a specific week or age that Baby should say his first word or take her first step. Penelope Leach divides baby stages into Newborn 0-3 months, The Settled Baby: up to 6 months, The Older Baby 6-12 months etc..
A *Settled Baby* defined by baby expert, Penelope Leach, is,

"A manageable proposition. You can tell how he likes to be handled even if it is not the way you would choose to handle him. You know what to expect from him even if it is the worst. You know what frightens him even if it is almost everything. Above all, you can tell when he is happy, however seldom that may be, and when he is miserable, even if that is almost always. So once your baby is settled you know what you are up against. Instead of trying to survive from hour to hour, get through another day, avoid thinking about another week, you can begin to work and plan for reasonable compromises between his needs and those of everyone else."

Well, based on Penelope Leach's fine words, I am declaring myself a *Settled Mama*. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I can go to bed at night pretty much knowing what the next day will bring. I know that baby E will be waking me at around 5:30 AM. I'll get to snuggle in bed with her for about an hour. By 6:25 I'll have leaped out of bed and head downstairs after having washed and dressed myself and 2 out of 5 kids. By 6:45 I'm well into the morning marathon of packing lunches for the 4 bigger kids, facilitating serving of breakfast, brushing little teeth and styling my young daughters hair. By 7:35 we're all out-the-door getting my son to his bus-stop, and driving H. to preschool and A. and M. to school.

I reap calmness in knowing that my 4th grade daughter no longer loathes school and she made new friends that she even brings home for play-dates. My 2nd grade daughter is excelling in every subject and no longer exhibiting strange blinking habits. I feel relief knowing that my son is getting used going to kindergarten in the special education system and he is thriving!

I feel settled. I drive home after dropping the kids off. It's usually around 8:00 AM. I have coffee. I read my e-mails and log in to Facebook... By the time I head out to pick up my 3-year old from preschool, I've done a few loads of laundry, washed the floors and dishes, or possibly gone grocery shopping. I've breastfed baby E. many times and I don't keep count. I've written new articles on my website and checked how much Google money I've made... I might have gone out for a 2 hour power-walk with baby E. I'm settled. It feels GREAT!

New Dawn, New Day, and all that

I don't know what possessed me to stay up so late last night writing that dark post about Super-Mom but I did it and I don't delete posts. I was up with Baby E. at dawn. By 6 AM we came downstairs so that little E. could play with toys on her quilt and not accidentally roll off of my bed! The 4 bigger kids were already up and playing down in the playroom. My eldest daughter came and took little E. to play with them in the playroom and I went back to sleep for TWO whole hours!!! I feel like a new mama.

Tears Not From Joy

We took a trip to visit my parents a mildly long drive away. We stayed for 3 days. Everything was relaxed and taken care of. My mom cooked delicious meals. The kids played with my childhood toys. We swam in the pool and enjoyed the water slide. My dad gave my two big kids extra special time and attention. I got to chat lots with my mom. We stayed up late watching movies together. Baby E. and I slept in every morning. Perfect. Super. Lots of photo op.s and smiles and puppies... well, cute little dogs that look like puppies.

But. So. I am Super-Mom. Super-Woman. Super-Wife. Super. Super. Super full of shhhhhh.... Each day magnified the imperfections and the so-not-super-ness that is me. That is my almost-9-year-old telling me to get lost. My 4 year old son reverting to communicating via loud grunts, throwing things, and even hitting me. My nearly-3-year-old daughter telling me amongst other things, "Don't tell me what to do Mommy!" and my 7-year-old daughter proclaiming, "You don't even care about me Mommy.". Where the hell are you, Super-Mom, that I am supposed to be? Why? Why aren't you ever enough? Why are you crying Super-Mom?! Super-Mom, why are you crying tears not from joy?

Back to School Blues

In my town, the kids have summer vacation from school for 2 months. School ends as soon as July begins and the kids are back in the classroom again on September 1st. I hate school. I know that my mom will disagree with me for saying this but I have always hated it. I'm not 100% sure but I think it's the schedules and the rules that get me down. I'm not a planner and I like to be able to do things on a whim - wake up at 7 am and have a lazy morning and then go to the beach from morning til sundown. I like taking the kids places and we rarely have time during the school year with our kids in school 6 days per week...

I bought all of the kids school books and supplies. A. and M. have their school backpacks from last year and I'm thinking about buying Z. a new one for kindergarten. Little H. is starting her first day of pre-school. I am not excited about not having her around but I know she will love being with kids her age everyday. I hope she has a great first experience. H. is not one for rules and schedules yet either... so I hope she adjusts easily.

A. is going into 4th grade and M. is starting 2nd. It'll be just little E. and me everyday from 8 til 1:30.... time to whip out the jogger and get into shape!

Burnt Out?

My last post before restarting here was called, Whoever Says It Gets Harder Than This is Lying, and then I didn't post for almost a year and 8 months. A lot has happened. A surprising pregnancy. A miscarriage. A pregnancy. A birth. A beautiful new baby daughter.
There are times where I get so wrapped up in enjoying my 5 closely-spaced children; reading with them, playing games, doing art projects. There are many moments where I just sit and watch them with my heart bursting with love and pride. But sometimes I have scary thoughts. Sometimes I want to run away and be me again. Sometimes I lie awake in the night wondering if I'm a good mom. Am I burnt out? Did I do it right? Will I have regrets? Thank goodness for the long night and bless the new day....

Painful Potty Training

It's true. I have 5 kids. Four of them are potty trained and my nearly 7 month old wears diapers. I admit to being an itsy bitsy bit lazy when it comes to potty training and a real pushover for a toddler begging for a diaper... but I digress. We've overcome those hurdles. Right now I'm dealing with my cat who insists that the bathtub drain is her own personal toilet! We have had, Sarafina, for about 3 years. She came to us as a 3-year-old 2nd hand cat named, Mickey. (Who names a girl cat, Mickey???). She is pretty much free to come and go as she pleases but lately we've all noticed that Sarafina prefers to pee in the bathtub drain! I give the cat credit for making it into the correct room of the house however I am sick of disinfecting the bathtub every single day. I need suggestions. Has anyone ever successfully potty trained a cat to pee on the toilet?

Mom, Are You On Google?

It's been a while since my last post... er, about 1 year and 8 months! I have no idea what inspired me to get back on here but here I am.

I just logged into my account and my daughter, A., came to peer over my shoulder.
A. saw my Google account on the screen with my photo and she exclaimed, "Mom! Are you on Google?"

I answered, "Yes.".

She looked at me. At the screen. At me.

"Mom, are you famous?!"

Whoever Says It Gets Harder Than This Is Lying...

I have 4 kids. Their ages are 7, 5, 3, and 1. I usually do not sleep more than 4 hours straight. I am chronically sleep deprived and I know it. I wake up to nurse, to soothe, to bring drinks, to tuck in... I love my children and this part of being their mom. Sometimes being their mom is like a beautiful fairytale... imagine rainbows above, bunnies and puppies frolicking in the distance and my 4 little darlings and me having a joyful time playing....

Now imagine this... it's 3:30 pm. I've just picked up my 7 year old and 5 year old daughters from school with three year old son and 1 year old daughter. My oldest daughter, A., announces that she has a birthday party this afternoon... in 30 minutes. We NEED to buy a present. Okay! I can do this! Drive to nearest bookstore! Find the perfect book for a 7 year old! In the store my daughter, A., aged 7 begs for some stickers, and a DVD, and a new umbrella... M., my 5 year old is running up and down the aisles singing - loudly. Z., my3 year old son is opening and closing the expensive looking umbrella that A. is begging to buy. H., the baby... where is she? Oh no, she just ran out of the store... A stranger is stopping her. H. screams. I thank the stranger as I soothe H. and run back into the store.

I'm losing it. Four against one and I am definitely not keeping up! I want to shout, "Stop it right now!", but I don't. I smile at the passers-by who seem to think my bouncing munchkins are "so cute"... and look at my watch. 15 minute until the party. I grab a nice looking book, Little Women, I dash for the checkout - gift wrap it - A. signs the card and we're heading for the car... Getting into the car, buckling 4 car seats is another story!

As a very busy and overworked mom... I often receive advice from all types of well meaning folk. A common comment I get is, "Oh wait until they're older! Then you'll really have your hands full!" or, "You think this is tough? Just wait until you have teenagers!"... Well, I'd like to thank all of my loving fans for your blessings for future hardship but quite frankly, I disagree. Do teenagers wake you up several times in the night? Do your older children contribute to sleep deprivation? Are you constantly cleaning just to maintain a sanitary home? Do you wipe tushies? Change diapers? Do you chase 4 little ones in 4 different directions??? I love my 4 little children and I also know that they are hard work! This is as hard as it gets! I know there will be more complicated issues to challenge and push us to our limits as they grow BUT... I will have more sanity, more sleep, and more time to breathe. When I have more sleep I believe I will be much more fit to handle the challenges that come!

Fast-forward... it's 7 pm and all of the kids are tucked into their beds. I've had kisses and hugs. The house is quiet. I have time to reflect on moments of my day... when A. read quietly for an hour on her own and M. poured her own cereal and milk and Z. said, "Give me love" and planted a huge kiss on my face, and H. laughed... I remember how lucky I am.

Legacy Built From Lego

Now here is a man who makes fun for a living... or has fun making a living? Either way, Nathan Sawaya is a artist whose main medium is Lego. No sculpture is too large or too small and many of his creative designs are more adult than what one may expect from Lego. A sample of his work can be found on the CNN website.

Nathan Sawaya's workspace is an explosion of color.

Clear plastic crates stuffed with LEGO bricks in every hue are stacked high against the walls. A computer sits on the floor, but it's not functional. The red, yellow and blue replica is made entirely of LEGO.

In fact, everything in the room is made of LEGO; a cash register, a monkey, a bowl of fruit, a vase of flowers.

Now people can get an even closer look. Sawaya's national touring exhibit, "The Art of the Brick," is making the rounds. The collection was viewed by tens of thousands at the Lancaster Museum of Art in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Its next stop is

the Discovery Center Museum in Rockford, Illinois, on June 15; it will stay there until September 3.

Wow! That is an exhibit I would enjoy seeing! I wonder if he glues the pieces together....

When I'm Old and Gray...

When I'm old and gray... perhaps 60... I hope to be alive and well! There are many hopes and dreams that I imagine being mine at 60 - and not one of them happens to be going through in-vitro fertilization, pregnancy, and giving birth via Caesarean section to twins!

This was a choice that psychologist, Frieda Birnbaum, hopes to spread to other women. According to Birnbaum, "It's really basically about women and empowerment," she said in an interview with NBC's Today show.

Birnbaum, who underwent in-vitro fertilization last year at a South African clinic that specializes in older women, gave birth by Caesarean section on Tuesday at Hackensack University Medical Center.

"I don't feel like I went through a lot of trauma during delivery or even through the process of being pregnant," Birnbaum said.

The hospital said she was the nation's oldest mother of twins.

"Age has been redefined," Birnbaum said.

She and her husband, Ken, a New York City attorney, have been married for 38 years and have three other children — sons ages 33 and 6 and a daughter, 29.

The couple wanted another child closer in age to their youngest son, and Birnbaum's husband said it was his idea for his wife to become pregnant instead of adopting.

"I couldn't be happier about the way it worked out," Ken Birnbaum told "Today."

Their daughter has said she worries about Birnbaum taking care of the twins when they're in their teens and she's in her late 70s — concerns dismissed by Birnbaum on Thursday.

I look forward to being "empowered" with retirement, enjoying my grandkids... and perhaps even menopause by the time I'm Frieda Birnbaum's age. No comment on breastfeeding at age 60.

Pool Time!

Last week at this time it was raining and cold....

The weather has taken a sudden turn and now it's hot. Atara decided that it's time to haul out the kiddie-pool so we cleaned it out and filled it up.

The timing is great because their new sun-guard bathing suits just arrived from America - via Amazon.com - via my Aunt Marci! Thank you!!!

I love these suits and think they are adorable!

Right now, Zach is not too happy... he wants to go out and be in the pool too. I guess I'll need to accommodate....

Garden in Progress

The weeds are whacked and it's time to plant! That's Atara standing in our backyard with the dry dead weeds - much better than the jungle that was here about a week ago! We are in hurry to get the grass and watering system in before Shmita begins.

Yesterday afteroon Atara, Maya, Zach and I had a good time "exploring" in the garden... though we were unable to locate the tortoise with the red heart on it's shell. The tortoise has been living in our garden and we painted a red heart on it's shell with nail-polish so we'd be able to identify if it was the same tortoise each time!

Yesterday I planted some flowers...
it was fun going to the nursery and choosing all types of plants and flowers. We already have quite a few fruit trees, palms, and bushes. Our yard is lacking in color so I chose quite a few flower-type things.
I am not quite sure of all of the names of the flowers. When choosing what to buy I made sure to select the *heartiest* types of flowers and ground-cover. I plan to only plant things that grow year-round and won't die after one season.

Bad Father Of The Year Award Goes To....

19-year old Joshua Royce Mauldin was blessed with a baby girl - born only two months ago. What a lucky man he is and yet for reasons one can only dream of (in their worst nightmares) Daddy Mauldin put his 2-month old baby girl into a microwave oven in an Arkansas motel.

The baby girl sustained burns on her face and left hand. She was hospitalized early Thursday and yesterday underwent a second skin graft performed by University of Texas Medical Branch physicians at Galveston's Shriners Burns Hospital.

This despicable monster faces indictment for felony injury to a child, which carries a maximum sentence of from five to 99 years in prison and a fine up to $10,000... injury to a child? I wonder what Joshua Royce Mauldin was thinking as he placed his baby daughter in the microwave oven - which setting did he chose and how many minutes did he *time* his little girl to be "injured"?

People do not microwave their children in order to "injure" them. The only other such "microwave injury" case I could find was about the Ohio murder suspect, China Arnold, who killed her month old baby, Paris Talley, in a microwave oven in August 2005.

Daddy Mauldin needs to be put on trial for attempted murder.

If Only Humans Were This Kind

Meet, Huani, a mixed breed farm dog who has taken on the task of nursing three baby tigers who were rejected by their mother. This mixed-species "family" resides at the Jinan Paomaling Wild Animal World in Shandong, China.

While cross-nursing in Humans is rare in Western society in less developed countries it is more common. Often an orphaned infant will be breastfed by an extended family member.

Wouldn't our world be a better place with more *people* like Huani?

What is Wrong With This Story?

I found this heartwarming story on Cnn.com:


"Bubba" Ludwig can't walk, talk or open the refrigerator door -- but he does have his very own Illinois gun permit.

The 10-month-old, whose given name is Howard David Ludwig, was issued a firearm owner's identification card after his father, Howard Ludwig, paid the $5 fee and filled out the application, not expecting to actually get one.

The card lists the baby's height (2 feet, 3 inches), weight (20 pounds) and has a scribble where the signature should be.

With some exceptions, the cards are required of any Illinois residents purchasing or possessing firearms or ammunition within the state. There are no age restrictions on the cards, an official said.

Illinois State Police oversee the application process. Their purpose, said Lt. Scott Compton, is to keep guns out of the hands of convicted felons, those under an order of protection and those convicted of domestic violence.

"Does a 10-month-old need a FOID card? No, but there are no restrictions under the act regarding age of applicants," he said.

Ludwig, 30, of Chicago, applied for the card after his own father bought Bubba a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift. The weapon will probably be kept at Ludwig's father's house until the boy is at least 14.

There are so many things wrong with this, I do not no where to begin.

Record Breaking Breastfeeding

This is interesting:

Up to 4,000 mothers in the Philippines have taken part in a nationwide attempt to set a new world record for simultaneous breast-feeding.

It is part of a campaign by Unicef, the UN's Children's Fund, and advocacy groups to highlight the benefits.

Last year, at least 3,541 mothers set a record for breast-feeding their babies simultaneously at a single site in the capital, Manila.

Unicef says too few Filipinas are aware of the benefits of breast over formula.

A partial, unofficial count showed that at least 3,608 mothers took part in the record-breaking attempt nationwide, according to the event organisers and government officials.

Only 16% of Philippine children between four and five months old are exclusively breast-fed while 13% of mothers do not breast-feed at all, believing they do not have enough milk, according to Unicef.

"We need every possible way to get the message out that Philippine mothers should breast-feed exclusively for six months and then continue to breast-feed for two years and beyond with household foods," said Dale Rutstein, Unicef's spokesman.

"Unfortunately, through advertising, most Philippine mothers now believe that artificial forms of foods for babies are actually better than breast milk," he said.

Unicef says breast-feeding can help curb malnutrition in children and boost their immune system. It is also cheaper than bottle-feeding.

First Time Motherhood

I was born yearning to become a mother. I remember continuing to play with dolls late into my childhood, imagining so intensely that they were my real little babies. As the oldest and only girl in the family, I was privileged to participate in the joys of nurturing real babies starting with my first brother, 18 months younger than me, down to my fifth brother, 17 years my junior. In our family, breastfeeding was the only way to feed a baby. My mother tandem nursed my brother and me side by side, I observed my mother breastfeeding my twin brothers past their second birthdays, and, in my teen years, I had a more mature view as my youngest brothers, born 16 months apart, were breastfed. My mother had a natural attitude and manner about breastfeeding. Her availability to each of her children was pronounced in so many ways, beginning at the breast when we were young and developing into so much more as we grew.

For 25 years, I dreamt of becoming a mother. My first, A., was born in 2001 and weighed 9 lbs. She was a 43 week baby and I was induced. That was rough. I didn't have the dream 100% natural birth I'd wanted because labor did not progress at first and they kept cranking up the pitocin! Finally after 12 hours I caved in and took the epidural... everything happened after that - I relaxed, I dilated and I was able to push her out in a *mere* 3 hours even with a fairly liberal episiotomy! I remember not feeling the contractions and having to fake it – pushing according to the monitors. She was obviously "overcooked", peeling, super-long finger/toe nails, scrawny.... the placenta was calcified and looked like one side was covered in bone! All of the staff on the OB floor came into my room to stare at it! I hemorrhaged which was pretty scary. The medical staff pumped me full of fluids, packed me with ice and kept pushing on my abdomen until the bleeding was under control and they could stitch me up.

After the long and tedious labor, my daughter, A., latched onto me with vigor and only stopped suckling when the midwives took her to be examined while I recovered from the hemorrhage. Our breastfeeding relationship continued strong and we co-slept.

She is now a beautiful 5 and a half year old kindergardner believe it or not. She is the epitome of girly-girl! Pink and purple are her favorite colors and playing with dolls, making beaded jewelry, and drawing princesses are some of her favorite activities. Being a girly-girl doesn’t stop her from collecting snails and bugs in the garden as my firstborn daughter is also a nature enthusiast. She spends hours outdoors speaking with the butterflies and plucking flowers.

She is the one who made me a mother. We spent a full 17 months enjoying each other. She only left my arms to explore the world and rarely sat in a stroller and always wanted to be in the sling. When she was eight months old I became pregnant again....

Konaki Sumo

Is this disturbing or is it just me? This is how the tradition of Sumo Baby Crying Contests are promoted to tourists:

It's always a delight to see a grown man yell at an infant until, frightened and confused, it bursts into tears. At this traditional 'konaki' (crying) sumo festival pairs of babies under one year old are pitted against each other.

The babies are placed facing each other and the temple priest then stands between them and shouts and waves at them until one child cries. Surprisingly this is one occasion when it pays to be a cry baby - for the child who cries first (or loudest if the poor little things burst into tears simultaneously) is proclaimed the winner of the bout! The delighted parents then hoist the distressed child aloft to face another trauma - a battery of camera flashes.

Of course there is always the odd child who refuses to play by the rules and confounds everyone by either falling asleep or giggling. Based on the old Japanese proverb that 'crying babies grow fast', the louder the child wails, the more the gods are thought to have blessed the child with good health.

This extraordinary ritual has a history of at least 400 years and is thought to have originated as a service to honour a child priest who lived at the temple long ago.

I'm sorry... I just don't get it. I certainly would never agree to enter my baby into this ritual ceremony or contest or whatever it is and I just find it unfair and frightening.

Family Of Five… and Cat Makes Six?

I love animals. Growing up, we always had at least one cat and one dog. There was usually a pair of hamsters named Peter and Gonzalo, plus or minus a gerbil, a parrot… later there were sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, and rabbits… fish…. My parents still have their dog and cat and a pair of exotic birds. The days of the hamsters are long gone!

I have wanted a pet for a while. I think it’s a great experience for children. Of course children learn responsibility; feeding, cleaning and caring yet most importantly the feelings that animals invoke in us – especially compassion. I would like for my own children to learn how to experience what someone else might be feeling… animals help us do this and we sure could use a lot more of that emotion; compassion in our world!

My Dr. Doolittle eldest daughter has been asking for a pet for months and months. A couple of yeas ago we adopted a baby guinea pig named, Polly-Pocket, that she cared for so attentively until sadly, it died suddenly in the night. She was devastated; a lesson in death.

Recently a young man posted on our community e mail list that he was looking for a home for his very friendly, spayed and vaccinated, white, female 3-year old cat. I inquired… and yesterday afternoon, we became acquainted with, ???-The-big-white-cat! My 3 were overcome with excitement – they chased and cornered The Cat, who was very accommodating! She did not hiss or bite or even flinch! She calmly allowed all three kids and a friend to pet her and attempt lifting her. After a time of this treatment I encouraged all 4 children to step back and let The Cat get to know us.

We have moved onto the great name debate. So far the top nominated names are the highly original: Polly-Pocket (again), Snowball, Snow White, and Berele… I’ll keep you updated.