tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44542105562442782352024-02-07T20:15:46.881+02:00Ahava Emunah : Love FaithThe Journey and bla-blah of Ahava EmunahMama Bla blahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09805393461084942034noreply@blogger.comBlogger212125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-86251995469111330932018-11-26T09:56:00.001+02:002018-11-26T10:05:19.308+02:00Their Wet Hair...<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Display"; font-size: 23px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">Yes my birthday is the 28th... I’m very thankful to make it to another birthday but I won’t be eating cake with this crazy diet.... meh cake isn’t really my thing. I just don’t like being restricted. Every chemo day I’m allowed to eat whatever I want - I usually bring a few small packets of junk food and lately my brother, Eli, has been my “supplier”. I bring my kosher Doritos, instant noodle soup, Cheezits and a few candies from Israel.... I usually eat pizza too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">There’s no cure for cancer. I’ve gone through every possible trial with zilch-results however these doctors in Turkey are able to get patients into remission! That’s huge! I’m praying for that. I can stay alive in a state of remission and we believe that with the Metabolic Theory: I need to starve the cancer which means NO carbohydrates!!! The carbs are like crack-cocaine! They beckon to us in the night when we crave snacks of popcorn, cookies or even just a sandwich.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">I was depressed for a while and asking myself why do this to myself?! I was in a daily state of pain; counting down - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... BLAST OFF to Turkey yet again! I began to hate everything that reminded me of the place, the journey, the disruption of my life. But now I have better pain control and I’m able to think about the future more. My kids are growing up quickly... and I want to be here for them! I’ll tell you - it’s short moments that make life worth it for me like yesterday evening....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">Hadas, age 11, had gymnastics a few miles away and she’s learned to take the bus. Eden’s school is very close by. Last night, Eden (age 8) had a special class get-together.... and Hadas took her to and from on the bus! When they got home, they showered and came into my room - I’d just put on some boring old movie </span><span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;"> from who-knows-when and I beckoned to Eden to come into my narrow bed with me: wet hair and all! And that snuggle made me feel so alive! Then Hadas appeared with her wet hair and I peeled back the blankets in the other side of me and called her in to cuddle. It was shortly before their bedtime so it wasn’t for very long... but it was precious SO priceless to me. I know they felt my love - I felt theirs and I will cherish moments like those forever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">It’s countdown time to Turkey! My flight is Tuesday: early in the AM so my trek begins in the middle of the night. Oh, how I dread the same old routine - and as blessed as I am to have my father with me, by my side with every step, it’s so very hard to do! It is for him too and he doesn’t have treatments!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">Each time, I get a bit better. Perhaps I’m closer to remission? I don’t know but, I’m more alert and in less pain with each treatment. The more healthy I become, the more difficult it is to be patient. I want my old life back. I pray.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: 23pt;">I pray I’ll feel that wet hair of my daughters’ many more times, the cold little toes against mine and the squeezes of their fingers around mine that remind me that they’re feeling me too....</span></div>
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Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-85488521283154749222018-11-23T14:29:00.002+02:002018-11-23T14:29:30.331+02:00What If I Live?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">My blah blah and my life journey has been completely influenced by a cancer journey that began in 2012; a dramatic disaster. For the first year and first time going through chemotherapy, I was encouraged by my my oncologist that I had stage 3b cancer, surgery had removed all of the cancerous tumors, and that I was having chemotherapy as a "mop up job" - as a security; just to make sure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's clear to me by how quickly the cancer returned and by the path of disease that in retrospect I was always stage 4 and there was no "mop up anything.....".</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are plenty of cancer specialists who will tell you that I shouldn't be alive right now. EVERY treatment failed me. I continued to progress regardless of trying every possible chemotherapy, biological therapy, immunotherapy, and radiation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">No treatment is without it's scars either. I suffer from terrible radiation burns that are both hard to look at and are excruciatingly painful. I have a list of symptoms which, I'm thankful that aren't worse than they are.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">By the end of the summer, 2018, I appeared to have weeks to live. My eyes were sunken in. I no longer had an appetite. My daily life consisted of a bedridden existence and pain killers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">From 2012, the option of me living for a long period of time was unrealistic. Though I couldn't imagine me actually dying, (my faith and denial have always been strong) I don't think many people believed I was long for this world. Bless my oncologist for never taking away my hope - which is known to have self-fulfilling properties.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The reality of stage 4 ovarian cancer is tragically impending death. All of the new treatments; PARPS inhibitors, immunotherapy, and whatever the mainstream medical claims are.... are failures. I've tried them all. I've watched my cancer friends die - one by one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">By August, 2018, it looked like The End was near. Different from the past 6 years, I'd now lost my mobility and my life consisted of pain and suffering with "good days" few and far between. My July 30th PET CT scan showed terrible results; cancerous tumors completely taking over my liver, spleen, pelvis, and bowel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Then came Turkey.... </b>The doctors in Turkey won't promise anything however their work speaks for itself. They're curing stage 4 patients while no other place in the world can make such claims. I arrived in Istanbul at the end of August and began grueling and torturous treatments. Lacking the funds, friends began fundraising to help us pay for the expensive treatments at the private clinic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After 4 rounds, I underwent a PET CT at home, in Israel. As I wrote in my previous post, both my Israeli oncologist and the radiologist were shocked by the results. Of course! Despite the wonderful fabulous medical care available in Israel, options for treatments had long dried up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The final (October 29, 2018) report shows a 70-80% reduction in disease load!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly, there's true hope! One by one, we meet Stage 4 cancer patients at <a href="http://www.chemothermia.com/" target="_blank">ChemoThermia</a>, the Turkish clinic in Istanbul, who arrived on their deathbeds and after 3-6 months of treatments are in remission with no evidence of disease! Not only do we meet the reality of life after stage 4 cancer - I am living proof.... I'm still alive! For the first time, I'm looking forward to my next PET CT scan! May it be G*d's will that I too merit remission and a clean scan!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need continued support. We are SO happy and blessed to share that our dear friends have created a fundraiser that's raised almost $100,000! <b>THANK YOU</b> so much for your generosity!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So.... what if I live? That is perhaps the title of my first book to be published in the future - G*d willing. Having this true hope of survival obviously changes everything! It's almost too wonderful to be true however I see a happy shinning light at the end of this horrible cancer journey! HOPE!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please continue to daven/pray for the full recovery of Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please consider <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/ahava-emunah-lange-cancer-treatment" target="_blank">making a donation</a> no matter how big or small... every bit helps and donations are tax deductible. There's an option to donate via GoFundMe or via our local synagogue organization and receive a tax receipt with 100% of funds going towards my treatments.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What if I live? I will continue to devote my life to my purpose. Hopefully my purpose is truly to help others and spread love and faith in every way possible.</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-86661563223588954152018-10-31T17:39:00.000+02:002018-10-31T17:47:13.034+02:00A Letter To You<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Display"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;"> Dear friends and family,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Just 2 months ago I was dying. The tumors in my liver and other vital organs were out of control. My life was in tragic danger and all doctors and oncologists that know me had run out of treatment options. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Two months ago, my liver was so enlarged and full of cancerous tumors; I looked like a heavily pregnant woman. We practically called off celebrating our only son’s Bar Mitzvah and it was likely that I wasn’t going to live to see my Zach becoming a Bar Mitzvah at all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">As you know, my dearest ones, we have been scouring the earth for something - anything to save my life! As I blogged, back a couple of months ago, my father found one clinic that gave him hope. In Istanbul, Turkey, of all places! Thankfully not too far to be completely out of reach - my parents fully researched this place known as: ChemoThermia.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">At the end of August, I began receiving treatments here, in Istanbul. Treatments that make me wonder if this is what it’s like to be in Hell. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">I decided, in my heart, that I would continue coming for treatments until my first pet ct. I believed with all my soul that these treatments would save my life. Usually the first scan is performed after 4-6 rounds of treatments. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">As you know, I’ve been in treatment both in Israel and America and as of the end of 2017 they no longer had anything to offer but an impending death sentence. Denial kicked in and so did complications, hospitalizations, pain and suffering.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">A few days ago, I had a pet scan in Israel and my oncologist and the radiologist were shocked yet very happy for me. Objectively the improvements are stunning! The radiologist said, “It’s a good scan!”. My oncologist in Israel said, “You made my day!”, with great emotion and perhaps even a glistening of tears in his eyes, “Whatever you’re doing is working....” And that’s the best news I’ve received in at least 4 years!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Today, my dad and I sat with my Doctor S. here, at ChemoThermia, and reviewed the scans together. As I’d done together with my husband and Professor C., in Israel, just 2 days ago, I saw the evidence with my own eyes. Every tumor has responded in some way to the treatments! Some tumors completely disappeared. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">As of July 30th, my spleen was one big mass of cancerous tumor and now all active cancer, in my spleen, is resolved! My liver was 3 times normal in July and now it’s back to a normal size. Many tumors have disappeared from my liver and the ones that remain are smaller and glow less strongly on the scan. We reviewed slice after slice of the scan and witnessed the dramatic improvements with tears of happiness in our eyes; my heart racing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Now I’ve seen the good news on the actual scans with both Prof C. in Israel AND Dr S in Turkey. I’m exhausted to my core so it’s hard to be emotional right now however, knowing that this Hellish treatment is working against the cancer is phenomenal! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Let me be clear: I still have cancer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">I still have cancer and this is the ONLY treatment that’s caused tumors to shrink or disappear in 4 years! Today, my life is in less danger but I must continue doing my job which, is coming to Turkey and receiving these grueling treatments and paying for them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">I have osteopenia - severe calcium deficiency and fragile bones. My sternum is broken along with other some bone fractures. The greatest news is that my vital organs are less burdened and more able to function. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Objectively the improvements are stunning. Just 2 months ago I was dying - my life was coming to an end and now all the news is positive! The only negative part is having to be in treatment yet that’s obviously what’s given me a new chance at living. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Please continue to pray for my complete recovery. Perhaps consider contributing to my cause; my treatments in Istanbul, Turkey.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">With Love,</span></span></div>
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<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Display"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"><span style="font-size: large;">Ahava</span></span></div>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-40454918267140829902018-10-22T12:17:00.002+03:002018-10-22T12:37:53.636+03:00A Message to My Only Son<style type="text/css">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWYtHIl3XO20WpqAli79fXJoaNyy3AWFY-VpQsso2vkRsWLa4-G7IAjHObXboRar5hyphenhyphenpBWYLUnRHl7ftZ4Evb_chkTU50owkvpwHs6rIzSmR-JDMYrCG3NqZsFw_5a-s-FOM04zsOqI0/s1600/8d629a27-bbd3-492d-a93c-bc56660a12a5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="609" data-original-width="672" height="579" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaWYtHIl3XO20WpqAli79fXJoaNyy3AWFY-VpQsso2vkRsWLa4-G7IAjHObXboRar5hyphenhyphenpBWYLUnRHl7ftZ4Evb_chkTU50owkvpwHs6rIzSmR-JDMYrCG3NqZsFw_5a-s-FOM04zsOqI0/s640/8d629a27-bbd3-492d-a93c-bc56660a12a5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #105689; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-top: 7px;">
<span class="book" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Genesis</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> Chapter 12</span></h3>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="Co_TanachTable lt-both" style="background-color: white; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; width: 100%px;"><tbody style="box-sizing: inherit;">
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="v" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"></a><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;">1</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And the Lord said to Avram, "Go forth from your land and from your birthplace and from your father's house, to the land that I will show you.</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">א</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־אַבְרָ֔ם לֶךְ־לְךָ֛ מֵֽאַרְצְךָ֥ וּמִמּֽוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וּמִבֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַרְאֶֽךָּ:</span></span></td></tr>
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="v" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"></a><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;">2</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will aggrandize your name, and [you shall] be a blessing.</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">ב</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וְאֶֽעֶשְׂךָ֙ לְג֣וֹי גָּד֔וֹל וַֽאֲבָ֣רֶכְךָ֔ וַֽאֲגַדְּלָ֖ה שְׁמֶ֑ךָ וֶֽהְיֵ֖ה בְּרָכָֽה:</span></span></td></tr>
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="v" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"></a><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;">3</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse, and all the families of the earth shall be blessed in you."</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">ג</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וַֽאֲבָֽרְכָה֙ מְבָ֣רֲכֶ֔יךָ וּמְקַלֶּלְךָ֖ אָאֹ֑ר וְנִבְרְכ֣וּ בְךָ֔ כֹּ֖ל מִשְׁפְּחֹ֥ת הָֽאֲדָמָֽה:</span></span></td></tr>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Mazal tov to you, my beloved and only son, Zachariah! This past Shabbat was your Bar Mitzvah. My dear husband and I rented the fanciest hall in our city, hired caterers and music and had decorations prepared...</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYYXzVddue3yQTak-tb5Zy0I40GYAiykynTnkIFcv3vd5T-t_0NNE4A25ykyHs6zfNxay2a0tsj7X-E4CO-OAUDsTQ5PIXPQo_VljqQN4X-9mMmQI6Fwhrb2OCntU0_ubWumDSWMA5s14/s1600/zach.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="970" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYYXzVddue3yQTak-tb5Zy0I40GYAiykynTnkIFcv3vd5T-t_0NNE4A25ykyHs6zfNxay2a0tsj7X-E4CO-OAUDsTQ5PIXPQo_VljqQN4X-9mMmQI6Fwhrb2OCntU0_ubWumDSWMA5s14/s400/zach.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;">And then we realized - perhaps now isn't the time for big adult parties. It's been my dream for years to plan a Bar Mitzvah celebration fit for a 13 year old boy and his friends and that's what we did. The fancy hall was cancelled, caterers were juggled and a most beautiful 25 hours of celebrations ensued!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQB5A1hDw8Hzg_QNprYZW5_lcrlXrBSf1zHIPJacox6kGbfAujZPDnT5PKitN8qQIQ5d44cXLXESoB9H2IC5QXnXUtoZpEWVVRCox91oS21SGPwEuS_1kv0T0wkCOO8cdGrr-DEeL5IJw/s1600/zach2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="626" data-original-width="689" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQB5A1hDw8Hzg_QNprYZW5_lcrlXrBSf1zHIPJacox6kGbfAujZPDnT5PKitN8qQIQ5d44cXLXESoB9H2IC5QXnXUtoZpEWVVRCox91oS21SGPwEuS_1kv0T0wkCOO8cdGrr-DEeL5IJw/s320/zach2.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"> It's truly a once in a lifetime moment that a mother gets to go to Shul (synagogue) and hear her son read her favorite parsha from the Torah; </span><a href="https://www.chabad.org/parshah/torahreading.asp?AID=9169&p=complete" style="font-size: xx-large;" target="_blank">Parshat Lech Lecha</a><span style="font-size: x-large;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> In this parsha, we learn that G*d spoke to Avram, and told him him, <i>“Go from your land, from your birthplace and from your father’s house, to the land which I will show you.” </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Many of our friends, who were present at the Kiddush after Shul, are blessed and were lucky enough to have experienced making Aliya (moving to Israel) to the HolyLand. I looked around our Shul hall into a sea of friendly faces; our beloved friends who baked fancy baked goods and made gorgeous platters of fruit and vegetables, and even one dear friend made THREE types of homemade herring for the occasion!</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> It takes immense faith to <i>"go from your land"</i> and make a new home in the Middle East, however in 1991, I arrived in Israel with my parents and 3 of my 5 brothers and in 2000 my future husband, your Abba (father) made Aliya to marry me - but that's a whole other story....</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Chasdei Shamayim, Hashem blessed us with 2 perfect daughters and when the time came for #3, I yearned for YOU, Zachariah, a son. Perhaps my yearning wasn't as painful and profound as our mother, Sarah and Father Avraham, however I prayed night and day for you, my beloved son to come down from the Heavens to be our child; our son.</span></span></div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="Co_TanachTable lt-both" style="background-color: white; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; width: 100%px;"><tbody style="box-sizing: inherit;">
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />15</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And God said to Abraham, "Your wife Sarai-you shall not call her name Sarai, for Sarah is her name.</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">טו</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֔ם שָׂרַ֣י אִשְׁתְּךָ֔ לֹֽא־תִקְרָ֥א אֶת־שְׁמָ֖הּ שָׂרָ֑י כִּ֥י שָׂרָ֖ה שְׁמָֽהּ:</span></span></td></tr>
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="v" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"></a><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;">16</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And I will bless her, and I will give you a son from her, and I will bless her, and she will become [a mother of] nations; kings of nations will be from her. "</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">טז</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וּבֵֽרַכְתִּ֣י אֹתָ֔הּ וְגַ֨ם נָתַ֧תִּי מִמֶּ֛נָּה לְךָ֖ בֵּ֑ן וּבֵֽרַכְתִּ֨יהָ֙ וְהָֽיְתָ֣ה לְגוֹיִ֔ם מַלְכֵ֥י עַמִּ֖ים מִמֶּ֥נָּה יִֽהְיֽוּ:</span></span></td></tr>
<tr class="Co_Verse" style="box-sizing: inherit;"><td style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 436px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="v" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration-line: underline;"></a><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 10px; position: relative;">17</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">And Abraham fell on his face and rejoiced, and he said to himself, "Will [a child] be born to one who is a hundred years old, and will Sarah, who is ninety years old, give birth?"</span></span></td><td class="Co_Spacer" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; width: 30px;"></td><td class="hebrew" style="border-top: 1px rgb(51, 51, 51); box-sizing: inherit; direction: rtl; font-family: sbl_hebrew, "arial hebrew", arial; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: right; width: 306px;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="co_VerseNum" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; position: relative;">יז</span><span class="co_VerseText" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.7;">וַיִּפֹּ֧ל אַבְרָהָ֛ם עַל־פָּנָ֖יו וַיִּצְחָ֑ק וַיֹּ֣אמֶר בְּלִבּ֗וֹ הַלְּבֶ֤ן מֵאָֽה־שָׁנָה֙ יִוָּלֵ֔ד וְאִ֨ם־שָׂרָ֔ה הֲבַת־תִּשְׁעִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה תֵּלֵֽד:</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: x-large;"> Unlike Avraham or Sarah, I didn't laugh. I cried tears of joy - still only in my 20's.... and when you were 8 days old, we brought you to "the altar" of the Shul and a special bond was created, as a “sign of the covenant between you and Hashem" - just as Avraham was commanded.</span><span class="s1"></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> G‑d told Avraham that, he will be made into a great nation and we know this to be true and everything that G*d does is good!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCH5ZTlrEFGjbCAsGmGWKOvBMGkJlYERZ1nqweRsjLaf8JJ4lNLb01XRv9voAzUvXciPfRzkHlFH8pnpC5qNTYZA6TCBXyUdkvRzdXGs_bWJT741u5lc_wZIhJJDn1d9y-zijcOuk__-Y/s1600/zachmemories.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="793" data-original-width="1053" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCH5ZTlrEFGjbCAsGmGWKOvBMGkJlYERZ1nqweRsjLaf8JJ4lNLb01XRv9voAzUvXciPfRzkHlFH8pnpC5qNTYZA6TCBXyUdkvRzdXGs_bWJT741u5lc_wZIhJJDn1d9y-zijcOuk__-Y/s320/zachmemories.png" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeg9sq3hn2w4OF-1R-1SSKAmKviiGGDiGKMdsETvmPfCeFpnxLQxt3tu7Zb3KPxifv1hDVqyCEbzCBXw4kRaa0b_ANKGU6JzCPshAGi1vMvNfRLRw2HuoUMn-tyfyiDTq6HdKgEPqOQGo/s1600/eyes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1345" data-original-width="1187" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeg9sq3hn2w4OF-1R-1SSKAmKviiGGDiGKMdsETvmPfCeFpnxLQxt3tu7Zb3KPxifv1hDVqyCEbzCBXw4kRaa0b_ANKGU6JzCPshAGi1vMvNfRLRw2HuoUMn-tyfyiDTq6HdKgEPqOQGo/s320/eyes.png" width="281" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: x-large;"> From the moment that I first held you in my arms and looked into your kind eyes, I knew you would be the son I prayed for. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: x-large;"> Zachariah, you are adored by all who know you. You are intelligent beyond your years - how many boys can solve a Rubiks Cube in mere seconds?! </span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> If I had to choose one attribute that stands out the most, it is your <b>selflessness</b> and <b>chessed</b>. Your kindness goes beyond that of the average young man or boy. You put others first and emulate the chessed of Avraham Aveinu. Wherever I go, I hear that very sentiment; from your teachers and rabbis, other parents, and of course your family.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> From birth, you were a happy and content infant and child. Zachariah, you're not known to complain and through your gratitude for everything that you have - you are a content person. In your content and gracious nature, I see the greatness of our Father, Avraham.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">On Shabbat, Parshat Lech Lecha, you reminded us of the greatness of Avraham and the gratitude that he possessed.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Avraham's life was a life full of contentment because even when times were were difficult, he never stopped being mindful of all of the great things that Hashem blessed him with.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> I hope that you will continue to walk the path of Avraham:</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">humble</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">giving</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">welcoming and caring for others</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> You, Zachariah, are full of gratitude for what you have and this contentment, this gratitude will take you far in life.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpo4h1XnF6uIVMZgqJYcSPunlyh0az25-P-bJ15sNW_R2a9uBJrA95CpYg4nKjPCcV5Nzi8493XusXCRudZauJP77-HUDpCdK1LsrFGDZ9Y7adTkWAoU_zp79EeQZandrLy4udnKZzEcM/s1600/f4fd2943-dc1d-4c58-b77b-340796cef8e7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="660" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpo4h1XnF6uIVMZgqJYcSPunlyh0az25-P-bJ15sNW_R2a9uBJrA95CpYg4nKjPCcV5Nzi8493XusXCRudZauJP77-HUDpCdK1LsrFGDZ9Y7adTkWAoU_zp79EeQZandrLy4udnKZzEcM/s400/f4fd2943-dc1d-4c58-b77b-340796cef8e7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> And so his story begins; the story of my son, the young man, Zachariah, the content and kind one who I pray shall continue to walk the path of contentment, kindness, and gratitude.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> I am truly grateful to have witnessed the day my only son became a man - in the eyes of G*d and the holy Torah. Bless you, my son, I will love you forever.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="color: purple; font-size: small;"><b>Please continue to pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</b></span></span></div>
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</style>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-54052685332399582942018-08-30T08:01:00.002+03:002018-08-30T08:18:57.131+03:00Second Day Of Treatment At Chemo Thermia....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeGrOqb0DqKpFNzBJOl_fCGTeD4mGo8iE-Q8oA1dK2TsXSzPYiQAWM1kqyIR9DQPrffpoJLGFr_nDibZMmJv27Z3Ldgs82A6JBwX5L7ybQDAd1y_H4gNPu2qXfBhrwty3rETGd-1C-4DQ/s1600/IMG_2735.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeGrOqb0DqKpFNzBJOl_fCGTeD4mGo8iE-Q8oA1dK2TsXSzPYiQAWM1kqyIR9DQPrffpoJLGFr_nDibZMmJv27Z3Ldgs82A6JBwX5L7ybQDAd1y_H4gNPu2qXfBhrwty3rETGd-1C-4DQ/s640/IMG_2735.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">My dad and I are currently in Istanbul, Turkey. I'm receiving treatments at a prestigious clinic, attempting to save my life using both conventional and well-known varieties of chemotherapies as well as scientifically studied and proven treatments which, focus on cancer as a metabolic disease.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We landed in Istanbul, Turkey earlier this week and began consulting in person with the physicians at the <a href="http://www.chemothermia.com/" target="_blank">Chemo Thermia</a> Clinic. Over the past months and weeks, my physical quality of life has declined drastically. When we arrived at the airport in Tel Aviv, I was already having difficulty walking. Luckily, I received wheelchair assistance. The flight was under 2 hours and by the time we landed, I could no longer walk on my own and was again assisted with wheelchair assistance from the aircraft to the waiting driver, who arrived to pick us up from the clinic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're staying less than a 5 minute walk from Chemo Thermia Clinic and have been driven back and forth whenever necessary because at this point in time, I'm unable to walk more than a few meters.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYBJQQBvrvCBV13iV-52WAfbCeI5NotJP6RQ36YWJnAXNQe7P3XA7Btd9XCkX-9NRCyfV9oNWEWEmvtH7B9Rko2DzYBP6VET7IagzfVvpFm8LyZDKJkzTIhDjCQUdw7SaYRluC5CdnmQc/s1600/141083f9-0408-4326-8c54-2e9c80413d9b.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYBJQQBvrvCBV13iV-52WAfbCeI5NotJP6RQ36YWJnAXNQe7P3XA7Btd9XCkX-9NRCyfV9oNWEWEmvtH7B9Rko2DzYBP6VET7IagzfVvpFm8LyZDKJkzTIhDjCQUdw7SaYRluC5CdnmQc/s640/141083f9-0408-4326-8c54-2e9c80413d9b.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">On Tuesday evening, I completed my first treatments at the clinic. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. I received infusions of vitamins, antioxidants, anti-nausea, 4 types of chemotherapy, and Avastin. I also received two of the most intensely grueling treatments I've ever experienced: hyperthermia and oxygen in a hyperbaric chamber.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hyperbaric O2 chamber</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We returned to the hotel and I could no longer stand on my own two feet. I cried and climbed into bed and went to sleep.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I slept through the night without painkillers and the next morning was able to walk from our room, to the lobby, and to the awaiting car.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The treatments on Wednesday were less grueling yet very tiring as I received intense local treatments, oxygen, and infusions of antioxidants. I also spent an hour in the hyperbaric O2 chamber. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDtS4RLM3hsYl7hWsiqK6LUGJ-f98YsLKn5zjA0y-KOSgVa5mt5wnoTyrUl41Bs8WLyEKgdUczBceQFlYJNSeBBvAJVaUuKkA2XTfKe1ZI1gvMQ64BlgFgHbDkW2R9t5Pvh_zrREs3oM/s1600/d79ca327-72b7-4ece-a64c-ef6bd27442ae.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDtS4RLM3hsYl7hWsiqK6LUGJ-f98YsLKn5zjA0y-KOSgVa5mt5wnoTyrUl41Bs8WLyEKgdUczBceQFlYJNSeBBvAJVaUuKkA2XTfKe1ZI1gvMQ64BlgFgHbDkW2R9t5Pvh_zrREs3oM/s640/d79ca327-72b7-4ece-a64c-ef6bd27442ae.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">On arrival at the hotel, I was able to walk in, take a shower, and walk around the room. Feeling even the smallest positive changes in my condition is certainly encouraging.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since we've been here, we've met patients from all over the world: Iraq, England, Scotland, Africa, the USA, Russia, and of course many non-English speaking countries throughout Europe and Asia. The bond that these patients share is that they arrived at the clinic with stage 4 cancer and within 3 months many of them have clean PET CT scans! Many of these patients are in remission and it's remarkable to view their PET CT scans. We have been talking with everyone we can about their journeys - especially my dad, who has a lot of time to interact with other patients and their loved ones while I receive full days of treatments. My dad and I have met and seen scans from patients with many different types of cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In addition to the treatments that patients at Chemo Thermia receive, we are also given many bottles of medications which are inclusive in the expenses of the other treatments. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Chemo Thermia Clinic is using methods to kill cancer that are not new. They're in direct touch with top researchers including professor Thomas Seyfried of Boston University who until now does ALL of his research in the labs - on mice and rats. Dr. Abdul Slocum works closely with Professor Seyfried and as a medical practitioner, Dr. Slocum is able to treat patients using the models developed by researchers like Professor Seyfried to treat cancer as a metabolic disease using so many modalities as well as conventional chemotherapies which, every oncologist is familiar with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The case studies speak for themselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We met Brian with stage 4 esophageal cancer who was expected to live with his advanced state for only 8 months. He has been very friendly and forthcoming in sharing his personal story with us both in person and on the <a href="http://chemothermia.com/patient-stories/" target="_blank">Clinic's website</a> where there are many other success stories available for viewing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am here... and we are praying for similar results - hopefully remission! There are countless stories and people eager to share them! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please continue to pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-91260541956721280642018-08-26T17:28:00.001+03:002018-08-30T10:50:16.852+03:00It's (NOT) About Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3fF6MwW5rr5mYol4kA4FZqugYC6SajrUnIJsr7rBGdwcZZTzZl_FxBwLnUq_75_MEjeVvPhmbNjdHmEzV01PEfNM5KACd-TdIasHtZoEJvtYj5jyLva0ctgbk1tXss2DCF6Nqr-l13M/s1600/cancer-390322_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3fF6MwW5rr5mYol4kA4FZqugYC6SajrUnIJsr7rBGdwcZZTzZl_FxBwLnUq_75_MEjeVvPhmbNjdHmEzV01PEfNM5KACd-TdIasHtZoEJvtYj5jyLva0ctgbk1tXss2DCF6Nqr-l13M/s640/cancer-390322_1920.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I hope that my beloved readers have had a wonderful and blessed summer. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Summertime can be difficult for working parents or those who already feel the financial strain of both the last and impending years. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Summer is hot!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Summer is expensive!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Summer is a wonderful time for both the trees and the flowers to grow.... and the children seem to need the miracles of summer-sun too.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">As Summertime approached, I greatly feared how and what I could do, in my gradually worsening condition, to make positive summer memories for my family and myself. </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-size: large;">While the world has been away on summer vacations and trips, working, and whatnot, Cancer has been on </span><span style="color: #222222; font-size: large;">full time high drive, making my life more and more difficult to enjoy in any physical sense.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am thankful and blessed to have such loving and special people in my life. The love and kindness that is showered on my children and my whole family comes from such pure and modest loved ones and I am careful about what I'm willing to share. Believe it or not, there are some things that I keep strictly private.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;">While I seem to stay in a perpetual state of "everything is great" and "As long as I can live like this for years and years.... I'm happy and fine".... That state of being physically able to be "happy and fine" while in constant pain has become unbearable. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've reached a junction. Mortality is becoming stronger and stronger. The PET CT scans show the progression. Without me needing to actually even see the results, I know.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My dad went to work researching treatments. If you remember past posts about the <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.com/2018/05/my-notes-measuring-ketones-for-cancer.html" target="_blank">Ketogenic Diet</a> and <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.com/2018/05/my-notes-ketogenic-lifestyle.html" target="_blank">Lifestyle</a>, you'll know what we have been looking into and I'm even surprised that that was back in May, exactly a year after investigating the last very important treatments that I underwent at UCSD, in San Diego, California. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The professor that’s famous for the current treatments we're about to try is Professor Thomas Seyfried, a professor at Boston University, known for his cancer research and specifically treating cancer as a metabolic disease. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Of course with every treatment that I do, we’re hoping for miracles. The treatments I am going for are NOT experimental however I must remember that my hope must be stronger than my expectations; nothing is promised to me and each day that I am given is an invaluable gift. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;">My dad researched the treatment and the science behind it and we believe that it could save my life. We wish to and plan to work together with every member of my oncology team; weighing in on their experience and expertise in every way that we can while making choices and decisions about my care.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;">These treatments are only available for humans in Istanbul, Turkey, which is where I will be traveling to, with my father this week, to begin treatment.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I’ve read and watched many research papers and videos and compiled what I believe to be a good cross section of the methods used at <a href="http://chemothermia.com/" target="_blank">Chemo Thermia Clinic</a> in Istanbul, Turkey.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><a href="https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-7-7" target="_blank">This</a> is a scholarly article from Professor Seyfried‘s book: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="a-size-extra-large" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.2 !important; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cancer-Metabolic-Disease-Management-Prevention/dp/0470584920" target="_blank">Cancer as a Metabolic Disease: On the Origin, Management, and Prevention of Cancer</a></span></span></h1>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Below is an approximately 1 hour YouTube video presented by Professor Thomas Seyfried of Boston University including a lengthy interview with Dr. Abdul Slocum. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">One of the things that <a href="http://chemothermia.com/doctor/abdul-kadir-slocum-m-d/" target="_blank">Professor Slocum</a> had to say which, impressed me was a personal understanding of who I am and what I believe in regarding my own disease, regarding myself being an exceptional patient. Dr Abdul Slocum - who is the one who’s become an expert on the details of my case has made it pretty clear that he’s memorized my PET CT scans and patient history. This treatment is really important for me as my illness has progressed and I needed to find something that is special and specific to my body and course of disease. While Dr.s Slocum and </span><a href="http://chemothermia.com/doctor/asst-prof-mehmet-salih-iyikesici/" target="_blank">Mehmet Salih iyikesici</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: large;"> recognize the advanced state of my disease, they’re still optimistic about treating me because I keep myself strong and fit physically and because I have an exceptional patient’s outlook and attitude. They have witnessed that people who are exceptional in that way do better overall in treatment and have better prognosis’s when their will to live is very strong; like mine. My physical fitness is very important to them and the fact that “I am NOT cancer” and that I choose to live an almost normal life IN SPITE of cancer gives me the status of an exceptional and compliant patient that will follow through even with “annoying/difficult” physical challenges as part of the treatments. They’re absolutely NOT making any promises however they feel that I’m a very good candidate for metabolic treatment of cancer and it will be given in tandem with multiple types of chemotherapy: Taxotere, Avastin, Gemcitabine, Cisplatin and Doxil. The doses are low and given in tandem with the other treatments. I'm pretty sure that I will lose my hair (again) but we don't know yet.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">I am excited and terrified about this next stage in my treatment and my life. I'm doing it - not for myself - but for my precious 5 young children who, need a mother. I pray that this will be the beginning of the end to skepticism as I did promise myself that I would <b>"never do chemotherapy again"</b>. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">My life isn't about me. My life is a miracle and a blessing and I will do all I can to give as much of it as I can to my family and of course to serve the Almighty Above.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Please pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Here we go.....</span></span></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-82278831915281115692018-07-21T21:56:00.002+03:002018-07-21T22:08:18.561+03:00Six Years of Cancer <div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui display"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Six years.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July, 2012</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">July 22, 2012 <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.com/2012/08/cancer-makes-heart-grow-fonder.html" target="_blank">I found out that I have cancer</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I knew something wasn’t right. For some time I’d been feeling sluggish, bloated, tired, and simply “not me”. I kept going back to my doctors; anyone who would listen to me for any type of support. I pushed hard because I felt that something was wrong yet none of my doctors were alarmed and my basic blood counts were all normal aside from the vitamin D deficiency. I was deflated and felt alone and misunderstood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">As a busy mother of 5 young children, including a breastfeeding tot, I had run out of choices other than to accept that perhaps there wasn’t “anything wrong with me”. I resigned myself to being a 36 year old wife and mother who was no longer fit and energetic - even though I’d always been the example of good health in body, mind, and spirit. In 2012, I felt haggard and run down. I was no longer the energetically inspired mommy that I’d always strived to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I was depressed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I felt like a failure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I was misunderstood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">My family doctors let me down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">The irregular spotting that I experienced a few days earlier was a sign. I immediately made an emergency appointment with an obstetrician gynecologist and went on to wait impatiently through a day and a Shabbat to arrive at that terrible day....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">July 22nd, 2012 arrived and I eventually arrived at the emergency room after visiting the ob/gyn.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">July 22, 2012 - Emergency Room</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Ultrasound was a disaster.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">CT scans confirmed that the disaster was cancerous.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">July 26th, 2012: I underwent major surgery to remove an aggressive and cancerous tumor - the size of an average newborn baby - from my abdomen and life has never been the same.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I had surgery on a Thursday.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq-FIXBrYISoY_iWYy1tYa7i8PvwhoWhG1R1gqP-6N7pJBJKCTxvJzNLpip-vFuhV3nOdcXdpLtQNM_TiDXT3v2ymmth5GrJdVfLHrtgAmN05iJJJaoYQreO8ZOE9u66j3DfLbiGyFRJY/s1600/IMG_3910.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1172" data-original-width="1280" height="584" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq-FIXBrYISoY_iWYy1tYa7i8PvwhoWhG1R1gqP-6N7pJBJKCTxvJzNLpip-vFuhV3nOdcXdpLtQNM_TiDXT3v2ymmth5GrJdVfLHrtgAmN05iJJJaoYQreO8ZOE9u66j3DfLbiGyFRJY/s640/IMG_3910.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 26th, 2012 - post surgery</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I remained in the hospital over Shabbat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Then it was the saddest day on the Jewish calendar: Tisha B’Av - The 9th day of Av.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">This evening, as the sun set, the 9th of Av began. It’s actually the 10th of Av because when 9 B’Av lands on the Sabbath, it’s not observed until the following day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">The saddest day of the year reflects the destruction of both Temples - may they be speedily rebuilt in our time! May Mashiach arrive.... now! Please G-d!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Six years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Six years of blessings - I am alive!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Six years that the L-rd continues to bless me with miracles!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I pray to continue to be blessed with such miraculous blessings everyday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Thank You G-d for all You provide!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Thank You L-rd, All Mighty, for your love and for saving me from death so many times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">I am sometimes sad for the moments that I’ve missed yet I remind myself how very blessed and lucky I am that G-d blesses me with another day on this earth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Another day to breathe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Another day to celebrate motherhood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Another day of life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay"; font-size: large;">Thank You God!</span></div>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-78115606885486622072018-06-01T13:59:00.000+03:002018-06-01T13:59:50.212+03:00Thank You G-d For Not Giving Me What I Always Wanted...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdqXVMjKLPHjy8xQFIEoewmFd9U3O70Snw-jjiJCqDdlfdKwQRRJbcFlSbmt-V8xCMLD6xrxV96eH11pKYWHWH2yH8d77vRt1gjknDOPlOSdWZ-9Sfh9s6TIW5PDky-zJsoREHhsXkdMo/s1600/adorable-2178857_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1090" data-original-width="1600" height="434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdqXVMjKLPHjy8xQFIEoewmFd9U3O70Snw-jjiJCqDdlfdKwQRRJbcFlSbmt-V8xCMLD6xrxV96eH11pKYWHWH2yH8d77vRt1gjknDOPlOSdWZ-9Sfh9s6TIW5PDky-zJsoREHhsXkdMo/s640/adorable-2178857_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Our family started out like a modern-day American family. There was Mom and Dad, then came me, a couple of cats, a dog, and my adorable little brother, Eli.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We were a happy family of four. I didn't really meet many families who had more than 2 or 3 kids but then one year, my mom got sick. She was REALLY sick. My mom was so ill that she had to be in the hospital and we didn't know when we'd see her again. She had a </span>neurological<span style="font-family: inherit;"> illness which, we suspect was </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Guillain Barre Syndrome</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">. It was scary.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgk2e3I1V-5TMWKOTtOfmlX2QX9sHsSolhnRI1odCk4c6rNqWqR44QRuCIklYGYLlth076PGgkUl9Yt-KN23sDJfEytWG9Exlodj1hh-bUafLwAAU5zB78RIR7nuV8kRG2r8w0VKH-lHs/s1600/girl-907931_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1071" data-original-width="1600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgk2e3I1V-5TMWKOTtOfmlX2QX9sHsSolhnRI1odCk4c6rNqWqR44QRuCIklYGYLlth076PGgkUl9Yt-KN23sDJfEytWG9Exlodj1hh-bUafLwAAU5zB78RIR7nuV8kRG2r8w0VKH-lHs/s640/girl-907931_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">During or after that time, my parents realized what was most important in their lives I guess or maybe they felt that they could have lost my mom and she was really so good at being a mom; why not add one more to our family? I remember being told that I was going to have a baby brother or sister! I was so extremely excited because I'd always wanted a baby sister! My parents hired a midwife and they planned an early 1980's home-birth.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As the pregnancy progressed, my mother's belly doubled and grew so large, for such a fit and smaller-framed woman, many people stared and made comments about the </span>possibility<span style="font-family: inherit;"> of twins. She just laughed. It was the time before mass ultrasounds were performed and the midwife was keeping everything professionally measured. There was one baby in there and I prayed every single day for a baby sister! I collected pink baby </span>onesies<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and dresses. When friends gave us gifts of little boy or girl clothing, I </span>caressed<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and held onto the girly outfits.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Suddenly, mere weeks before the due date, a second heartbeat was detected and the </span>measurements<span style="font-family: inherit;"> showed the telltale signs of twins growing! My parents went privately to see an Ob/Gyn and sure enough, there were the two huge and fully formed twins staring back at them on the ultrasound, almost too big to fit on the screen! How I prayed and prayed for a baby sister and now my chances had just doubled!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9-qP1Q__KnYn4F653x_sOZjvOXGccu71QI3n2YuVvTG5TPqEapIiUEHlsXfNoLvp0-nFiTCkLkKbQzSh7UdyY7aAtWulcdXfD0SZ7vM12OSSShQsBiYmk-bdhu6nozdPGUbsSi2p8LE/s1600/twins-1628843_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1061" data-original-width="1600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9-qP1Q__KnYn4F653x_sOZjvOXGccu71QI3n2YuVvTG5TPqEapIiUEHlsXfNoLvp0-nFiTCkLkKbQzSh7UdyY7aAtWulcdXfD0SZ7vM12OSSShQsBiYmk-bdhu6nozdPGUbsSi2p8LE/s640/twins-1628843_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My mom went into labor only 2 weeks before the twins due dates and the next morning my brother, Eli, and I received the exciting news that we had two new identical twin brothers, Matt and Levi. Over 15 pounds of heathy bouncing baby boys! I admit, I was disappointed for a few minutes. G-d, hadn't I spent enough hours each day praying for a baby sister? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As my brothers grew, we all grew more and more in love with them. We were a house of 3 brothers and me and our bigger family was wonderful.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Years passed and the 1990's came. My parents decided to expand our family again. I was certainly going to have a baby sister this time! Sure, I was already a teen, and I'd never have the little sister I'd dreamt of playing dolls and house with yet still, I was desperate for a little sister. I prayed daily for the sister of my dreams. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This time around, we were living in Israel and every </span>pregnant<span style="font-family: inherit;"> woman had ultrasounds and because my mom was considered to be having an "elderly pregnancy" at the ripe age of 39, she was encouraged to have an </span>amniocentesis<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and therefore we knew early in the pregnancy that my dreams of having a baby sister were yet again not to be. My 4th sibling was destined to be Gabriel Josef, another brother. Was I disappointed? Only for a few minutes. I was mostly just so looking forward to having another baby in the house and the whole family was very excited to meet the first Israeli-born child in our family. I was 16 when Gabriel was born and quite enjoyed the mistaken </span>assumptions<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that I was his </span>teenaged<span style="font-family: inherit;"> mother when I carried him in a baby carrier or pushed him proudly down the street in his baby carriage.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Around the time that little Gabriel was six or 7 months old, my mother became very sick again. She was bitten by a sand-fly and contracted a debilitating illness known in Israel as: Shoshanat Yericho; the Jericho Rose. Her leg swelled up to painful proportions, she suffered from pain, weakness, and a very high fever. There was little my mother could do but rest and try to care for baby Gabriel and the rest of us.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After about four or 5 months, my mom was finally well enough to start her road to recovery. After so many months in bed, unwell, and not eating, you may have expected a very frail and emaciated woman to emerge yet that wasn't the case. My father even made the faux pax of commenting on what seemed to be a growing belly on my mother... the same week that she made a delicious chopped liver delicacy for Shabbat which, had come to </span>symbolize<span style="font-family: inherit;"> a craving that meant one thing; Mom is pregnant! I remember literally jumping up out of my seat for joy! My mom was probably pregnant and I MIGHT be getting a baby sister! Please G-d! I began to pray...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was already a senior in high school. Many of my friends already thought my obsession with babies was a bit unusual. I loved looking after my younger brothers and never needed to be asked. I volunteered. The day after Shabbat, my parents were already anxious to visit the doctor and I couldn't wait to find out if my little sister was finally on her way!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYPU9Cngx1uRRPUU3Zw71y6Z34Wzd9l2XXKohr01sCn3qMKCtG3BOwq0vMXrct09gFf-8dPFBB3CkL7Hc3E3s_aUEmBlqer0-EKKYOrxuVWvqzaDP3s73T2T2ZGKZu5t27dqtjdpNrns8/s1600/hands-2568594_1920+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYPU9Cngx1uRRPUU3Zw71y6Z34Wzd9l2XXKohr01sCn3qMKCtG3BOwq0vMXrct09gFf-8dPFBB3CkL7Hc3E3s_aUEmBlqer0-EKKYOrxuVWvqzaDP3s73T2T2ZGKZu5t27dqtjdpNrns8/s640/hands-2568594_1920+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Being that my mother was already in her 5th month of pregnancy (surprise!) it took only a quick minute with the ultrasound to discover that baby boy #5 was on his way to our family. This time I was disappointed more than the other times because I knew that this was </span>definitely<span style="font-family: inherit;"> the last chance I had to have a sister as my parents were both in their 40's. Luckily I had a few months to get used to the idea before my youngest brother was born on the night of the Pessach Seder in my final year of high school. I stayed home to take care of my brothers and as soon as my mom walked in the front door, she handed me my new brother so that she could cuddle little Gabriel, who was most certainly in shock. I </span>immediately<span style="font-family: inherit;"> fell in love with little baby Josh and have loved him dearly ever since. I quickly forgave G-d for giving me 5 brothers and not a single little sister.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In 2006, My brother, Eli, gave me my first sister, Briana. My brother Levi gave me my second sister, Hadar, and Matt gifted me with my third younger sister, Maya. I am more than blessed with the most wonderful sisters that a person could have!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm so thankful that G-d said, "No," to my prayers for a biological sister. In doing so, a great kindness was bestowed on my entire family because I carry the BRCA1 mutation, inherited from my father. Who knows if that's the reason? Nobody but G-d, however we are all spared the worries of breast and ovarian cancer possibly preparing to prey on one of my sisters. When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, at such a young age, it suddenly became clear why I never had a biological sister and I'm forever grateful to You Almighty L-rd, King of the Universe. Thank you for giving me 5 healthy brothers and thank you for my fabulous sisters-from-other-misters. I love them as much, if not more, than any biological sister could be loved.</span></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-89308115756560067252018-05-14T11:18:00.000+03:002018-05-14T11:18:28.881+03:00It's All Right And Part Of Life To Feel Sad <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDWdWhX2i60jjjaEu_J-WyRs3aDnd3w_Dfx16R6fbcOfEykalT2bxaQ5u_40-zXQSaqXqpKWVHpRfSLzvTkx9EmESj81ZLU8nnp7C88e7pZyP4PYeJNglmgRQ4Jyo1ms3oFFNb1APPSs/s1600/girl-1149933_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDWdWhX2i60jjjaEu_J-WyRs3aDnd3w_Dfx16R6fbcOfEykalT2bxaQ5u_40-zXQSaqXqpKWVHpRfSLzvTkx9EmESj81ZLU8nnp7C88e7pZyP4PYeJNglmgRQ4Jyo1ms3oFFNb1APPSs/s640/girl-1149933_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324;">I have many reasons for sharing my journey. Spiritually and emotionally, I receive so much strength, it touches my soul so deeply, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324;">from countless people in our community and around the world. I'm convinced that my challenging cancer journey is also a test and a blessing. One of the great things about sharing my journey publicly is, not only the loving and supportive feedback I receive from people who tell me that my writing has helped them through a difficult time or inspired them in some way, but also the kindness that I receive from people who were complete strangers one moment and have come into my life in any number of ways.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">In my early childhood, I had the charming bedtime rituals of childhood fantasy. My mom had the patience of a saint and it felt like she allotted endless time making our bedtime rituals enchanting and memorable with books, stories, and songs. It must have been the late 70’s and early 80’s and my brother, Eli, my mom, and I cuddled up together every evening on the bottom bunk bed. First we read books and then we sang songs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">We had </span><span style="color: #333333;">multiple</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"> rounds of hugs and kisses and the worst part, for me, was when it was time for my mom and dad to leave the room for the night. I dreaded the dark and worried about falling asleep. Even with the soft constant glow of a nightlight my fear of the darkness and night was always there until I was at least 10 or 11. The fear of night added something to our bedtime rituals; my mom or dad always put on a record for us to listen to as we drifted off to sleep.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We had quite a collection of vinyl back then and I had my favorites. Some nights we might have only listened to one side of the record, but most nights my mom or dad had to come and flip the record several times for me. My brother, Eli, had it easy and drifted of to sleep in minutes. I remember listening to my all time favorite, Free to Be… You and Me over and over and over again.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb9QziPWmwVfq2hiX-MI_BRYDhKxAzDPmTdHYQdfFrCWFMyqCvYtP317lZOQwgh1tSMx-1Vi15qoUKo6VxMZg6uZACNkXd4MRu3FGxUYRBUfC65gY1Urjeg_wq-BDI3M15rzZxHb4yjFA/s1600/freetobe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="822" data-original-width="910" height="571" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb9QziPWmwVfq2hiX-MI_BRYDhKxAzDPmTdHYQdfFrCWFMyqCvYtP317lZOQwgh1tSMx-1Vi15qoUKo6VxMZg6uZACNkXd4MRu3FGxUYRBUfC65gY1Urjeg_wq-BDI3M15rzZxHb4yjFA/s640/freetobe.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">That LP with the pink jacket was a record album and illustrated book that came out before I was born. Back in 1972, celebrities of the era including Alan Alda, Rosey Grier, Cicely Tyson, Carol Channing, Michael Jackson, Shirley Jones, Jack Cassidy, and Diana Ross sang the songs and narrated the stories.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">You can listen to the entire album on <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/4IKOXQvJjYwPZBYSQg8gKF" style="background-color: white;" target="_blank">Spotify</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The concept of the album was to encourage gender neutrality. The narrative of the record praised values like tolerance, uniqueness, and taking pride in individuality and your own identity. One of the main messages of the record was that boys and girls can do anything. That was how I grew up: free to be me. I always loved music and I usually have music playing in the background; sometimes only in my imagination – in my head. In every situation I star in imaginary music videos somewhere in the back of my brain. For a while, when I was feeling sad, "my Song" was: “It’s All Right to Cry,” performed by football hero Rosey Grier.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The science of tears is that, w</span><span style="font-size: large;">e need them to keep our eyes lubricated. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Tears are universal. My Google research proved to me that humans are the only species that cry for emotional reasons. The flow of tears have other purpose beyond the flow of salty water. When you cry, your heart rate increases, you sweat, your breathing slows and you sometimes get a lump in your throat. Red puffy eyes and salt water in tandem with the Fight Or Flight system known as the sympathetic nervous system take over your life for whatever amount of time is necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Some researchers claim that suppressing tears is a physical health hazard. There’s a saying attributed to a British psychiatrist, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Maudsley" target="_blank">Henry Maudsley</a>, “The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Fear, helplessness, frustration, sadness, and anger have the potential to make us cry. Joy and relief can make us cry tears of relief or happiness too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Life is a cry-fest and it should be.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">If you care enough to cry then your life is meaningful. It’s alright.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>If you can feel then you are alive. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">I still think that the </span><span style="color: #333333;">artistic</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"> exploration of crying </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: large;">by song writer, Carol Hall </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">and her conclusion expressed in her 1972 song is brilliant and timeless.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/6vAyytSXNzIKjBv8gidZCx" target="_blank">It's All Right To Cry</a></b> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">by Carol Hall copyright - 1972</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>It’s all right to cry<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Crying gets the sad out of you<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It’s all right to cry<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It might make you feel better</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>Raindrops from your eyes<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Washing all the mad out of you<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Raindrops from your eyes<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It’s gonna make you feel better</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>It’s all right to feel things<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Though the feelings may be strange<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Feelings are such real things<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And they change and change and change</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>Sad ‘n’ grumpy, down in the dumpy<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Snuggly, hugly, mean ‘n’ ugly<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Sloppy, slappy, hoppy, happy<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Change and change and change</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>It’s all right to know<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Feelings come and feelings go<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It’s all right to cry<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It might make you feel better</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">{Spoken}<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><i>It’s all right to cry, little boy<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />I know some big boys that cry too</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I miss hearing that Free To Be You And Me Record crackling away as I drift off to sleep and I still sing it in my head quite often and I remember ALL of the words.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Please continue to pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</span></div>
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Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-70798224638394902372018-05-13T16:09:00.000+03:002018-05-13T16:18:39.567+03:00Happiness And Personal Growth - Perspective<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd4ULZukdLRmus3q30VpBmarnagTPzBMDf5p648M-OfZ1lvKAjjqaFO5e4ITmfpVmt5FC3EgZ9dAFzF-qTyqEUW7EzlXN5YX__vNrsm0TI_rFRRmZzTtITgGoV7qkWLMxO3JHEOLvpYRo/s1600/chance-3385168_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd4ULZukdLRmus3q30VpBmarnagTPzBMDf5p648M-OfZ1lvKAjjqaFO5e4ITmfpVmt5FC3EgZ9dAFzF-qTyqEUW7EzlXN5YX__vNrsm0TI_rFRRmZzTtITgGoV7qkWLMxO3JHEOLvpYRo/s640/chance-3385168_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Everything is for the good and I repeat this sentence all the time because it’s true. I didn’t make it up. It comes from the wisdom of those much smarter and learned than I am. </span><span style="background-color: white;">Of course, nasty painful things happen to every single person on earth, but that doesn't mean</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: inherit;">that</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">they are bad. A simple example that everyone can relate to: medicine often has awful side effects but who would say that medicine is bad because it causes so much pain? Medicine also saves lives....</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>What about "good" versus "evil."?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The common </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">argument is that if God is good than e</span></span><span style="font-size: large;">verything that happens in this world should look and feel good</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">. The source of evil is never God. Originally, everything</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> from God is good. However, by the time it actually takes place, it may, for some reason, result in a bad thing. A loving and kind gesture might be delivered, but on the way the act gets misinterpreted and misconstrued by improper reporting or </span><span style="font-size: large;">deliverance</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> of the kindness. That's bad, but it's not God's fault. That's human error.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the case of bitter medicine, some </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">will ignore the need to relieve an illness or pain and </span>therefore<span style="font-family: inherit;"> refuse to swallow it or receive the painful injection. Willingly or not, the painful moment has the </span>potential<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to get rid of pain for a long time but if we refuse to try - we will continue to suffer - possibly endlessly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>There are two kinds of "evil": </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Is a temporary setback which soon proves to be a blessing in disguise, like medicine, evil?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What about life threatening threats like sickness or death which, seem to </span>possess<span style="font-family: inherit;"> no good at all. It's necessary to have</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit;"> faith and trust to know that some things hold a</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> purpose known only to The Almighty. This is probably the most difficult type of thing to accept even for people who have faith and even if</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> you </span><span style="font-size: large;">believe</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> in One God, the One Creator, who created heaven and earth, light and darkness, and everything that exists. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I believe that the Creator of the whole world is 100% pure good, and no evil can come from Him. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The only one I can change is myself and it’s something that can be difficult to accept because it’s human nature to want to bend and convert those around us to our way of thinking and our way of doing things. It’s this born instinct that causes political unrest and wars. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have learned, along the way, that when I’m feeling sad or upset about someone or something - it always means that it’s time for me to make a change in me. Anger and sadness can be a God-send wake-up call. A gift and an opportunity to change Those changes can have a positive impact on one person and believe it or not... the whole world!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">A well known story </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">which took place during the first week of Creation tells a tale about all of the newly formed animals that were busy testing out their abilities; flipping and hopping around. There was this one imbalanced animal that wasn't enjoying his newly acquired abilities and limped and floundered around; envious and jealous of his animal friends because they could jump, walk, and fly while he couldn't.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The frustrated creature turned to God and cried and blamed the Great Creator, "God! Why did you make me into such a pathetic useless creature?!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">God tried to soothe and comfort the self-pittying animal. "My creature, I'm here to help you rise above all the other creatures."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Suddenly two heavy limbs appeared on both sides of the animal. At first the creature was overjoyed, but when he tried to walk or run, he felt the weight of two appendages and that made him feel even more awkward and unstable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The animal returned to God and complained again, "These floppy things are making everything worse!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Silly bird, those are wings. Use them to <i>fly!</i>" God replied.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It all depends on our perspective. The lesson learned from this famous story is that sometimes our seemingly worst challenges and painful obstacles become our greatest sources of growth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Happiness can and should be a part of every journey - we choose it - it’s not a destination unattainable. </span>I know I must sound a bit like a broken record because, I say these things all the time however it's the truth and I will continue to spread it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I continue to experience that joy and happiness are the products of faith, gratitude, and being thankful for every moment and for every single thing that I have. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It truly changes my mindset and lifestyle to take pleasure in witnessing the happiness of others. Being able to give a blessing to someone else is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity and will result in feelings of wonder and ecstasy inside... that's happiness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Living this particular path actually guarantees many more blessed days. The concept of "Always being happy" is a </span>derivative of making personal changes which, produces something magical and that byproduct is true happiness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Please continue to pray for me: Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-46492904404145193142018-05-13T09:46:00.000+03:002018-05-13T09:51:16.186+03:00Breaking In The Ninja!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQNI4NqKH7QLvueexFbH3ybB2V-wNLYQ0CPx5C2RLQRSKKSb60ORg4VVPSJNaWo2nUbDyR1ZvnK7HHhFq1bp9FdClw54E-NUMKtulRPHnQpbG9lgQF_5xB1rqdBDNBEwm-uaeDAEFTUnA/s1600/IMG_0147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQNI4NqKH7QLvueexFbH3ybB2V-wNLYQ0CPx5C2RLQRSKKSb60ORg4VVPSJNaWo2nUbDyR1ZvnK7HHhFq1bp9FdClw54E-NUMKtulRPHnQpbG9lgQF_5xB1rqdBDNBEwm-uaeDAEFTUnA/s320/IMG_0147.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We received a “Ninja” blender type of appliance as a work gift from my husband’s company for Pessach.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This morning, I finally decided to try it out and made some </span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Keto-juice”.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I’ll call it: Ninja Juice</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I made a big batch to share:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Juice of 2 fresh lemons 🍋</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Some homegrown basil 🌿</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Some homegrown mint sprigs</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Ice</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Water</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It packs a zing! Sour and refreshing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">NO sweeteners!</span><br />
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<br />Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-30604244747428982792018-05-09T10:57:00.002+03:002018-05-09T12:11:03.726+03:00My Notes: Measuring Ketones For Cancer and More About Ketones<style type="text/css">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkuDr3cylSQRQ8pvbkTmBzc_rP3Bf0jzxpk2qHdTHC72ToDfwH8WgCigRVmJchOLw72cBgNriFzivGihd5IcsQe6FDIu6x4Y0bor-ARzN1qPKpic4dtlRHIux36jEt8OcvP3w5q6seO1A/s1600/KetonixDevice.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkuDr3cylSQRQ8pvbkTmBzc_rP3Bf0jzxpk2qHdTHC72ToDfwH8WgCigRVmJchOLw72cBgNriFzivGihd5IcsQe6FDIu6x4Y0bor-ARzN1qPKpic4dtlRHIux36jEt8OcvP3w5q6seO1A/s400/KetonixDevice.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.ketonix.com/" target="_blank">Ketonix</a> breathalyzer kit from https://www.ketonix.com/</td></tr>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Ahava Emunah Lange: summary of notes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Measuring Ketones</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLXczcGuXFiJCZeJMCLMZ5NNfZ7syn81QDiGCZoDMTBExT66Fp99LSe0rcoLB_SHlOybFOVM3GMIBajBduu0rVqBIkAqeuxGBtijFs6TJ6rs-Gfcp90TAIubExT6voOdN8AIPm8ZZs5c0/s1600/peestix.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="456" data-original-width="938" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLXczcGuXFiJCZeJMCLMZ5NNfZ7syn81QDiGCZoDMTBExT66Fp99LSe0rcoLB_SHlOybFOVM3GMIBajBduu0rVqBIkAqeuxGBtijFs6TJ6rs-Gfcp90TAIubExT6voOdN8AIPm8ZZs5c0/s320/peestix.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtoxYv7yo7arcdlLKcJ-IA7QWQ-M4pEzdRr2xpUvZN-_7LeFF_X2uAVuM3SueZMaXrGpc4BNSxA2H45GkJRAIEyn9poTL_H8a66VLSogRNm_UoZATQnu0CRMfAqzwdhMjHzLA9c6FrlQ/s1600/ketonechecker.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="163" data-original-width="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtoxYv7yo7arcdlLKcJ-IA7QWQ-M4pEzdRr2xpUvZN-_7LeFF_X2uAVuM3SueZMaXrGpc4BNSxA2H45GkJRAIEyn9poTL_H8a66VLSogRNm_UoZATQnu0CRMfAqzwdhMjHzLA9c6FrlQ/s1600/ketonechecker.png" /></a><span class="s1"></span></div>
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<b><span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketogenesis and measuring ketones</span></b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">When your body becomes a fat-burner vs a glucose-burner, you produce measurable ketones which, can be measured in 3 ways.</span></span></div>
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<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Urine strips (dip-sticks such as Bayer brand)</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Blood strips (glucometer for ketones such as FreeStyle)</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Breathalyzer device (I use <a href="https://www.ketonix.com/shop/products" target="_blank">Ketonix</a>)</span></span></li>
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<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Burning fat vs being in Ketosis</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Fat adapted vs Ketosis</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="s2"><b>Why measure Ketones?</b></span><span class="s4"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Different people have different goals for using the Ketogenic Diet which, I prefer to call the Ketogenic Lifestyle. Ketogenic isn't a fad-diet. There's a growing community of people who mostly focus on a common goal of losing weight by eating Ketogenic.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Measuring for disease management</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">The use of a Ketogenic Lifestyle for management of disease such as cancer, diabetes, depression, epilepsy etc changes the emphasis and requirements. When using Ketosis as a metabolic treatment, there's no option of "cheating" or going on-and-off of the Ketogenic Plan. When you experience therapeutic results from being in ketosis, there's really no other option than to follow the regiment. Measuring ketones at different times of the day and during different situations can be part of maintaining a healthy treatment plan.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Measuring For Dieting/Fat/Weight-loss</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">It's not necessary to constantly measure ketone bodies levels religiously. Ketone production are the RESULT and NOT THE CAUSE of fat burning so the ketone levels aren't predicative of weight or fat-loss. A scale and tape measurer are the best measurement tools for actual weight loss. According to "Keto Gains": <i>Chase results -NOT ketones.</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Experiencing and witnessing higher levels of ketones viewed via various testing methods can be emotionally encouraging to a person who is in the beginning of their journey. Usually the urine strips are the first choice for this type of measuring as they're readily available and inexpensive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"><i></i></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">STOP THE KETONE SHAMING!</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately, there is an online phenomenon of self-proclaimed Ketogenic "experts" and enthusiasts using their knowledge to bully followers in online support groups and in online comments sections. My philosophy is if you're knowledgeable and can help others - just do it! No need to make someone's mistake into an opportunity to belittle or shame them online. YUCK.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Nutritional Ketosis Range</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Jeff Volek PhD, RD and Stephen Phinney MD, PhD agree on a blood level nutritional ketosis range of:</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">BLOOD LEVEL (BOHB): 0.5 - 5.0 mmol/L</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Ketone levels fluctuate throughout the day.</b></span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Urine ketones: highest in the morning</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Blood ketones: highest later in the day</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Quick fixes to increase ketone levels</span></b></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Eat a fat-rich meal</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Eat MCT or coconut oil</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Exercise</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Fasting</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Use of exogenic ketones (supplements) - these are usually expensive and I'm unsure of their long-term effects. There are also ketone salts and esters which, I personally don't know much about and haven't found scientific basis for using them.</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Other methods to kickstart or boost ketones involve the use of fasting. This seems to be a controversial subject for some however for the use of ketogenesis for management of disease, especially cancer, CR (calorie restriction) is an approved and valid method. The hardcore weight-loss gurus will possibly knock you out for suggesting CR. I've experienced that online.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s5"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Interpreting Ketone Measurements:</span></b></span><span class="s1" style="font-size: large;"> supplies information on the effects of:</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">1.Diet</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">2. Sleep</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">3. Stress levels</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">4. Exercise</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Learning how to interpret personal level fluctuations</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Urine Levels of Ketones</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Ketones found in the urine are being excreted - NOT being used as fuel in the body. Over time, ketones may not show up as readily in urine. This is possibly a sign that the body is utilizing ketones more efficiently and therefore not being excreted as much into the urine.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Blood Levels of Ketones</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">A person whose body is better adapted to USE ketones for energy won't excrete as much ketone into the blood. This situation can be compared to that of a well-trained athlete who utilizes ketones efficiently - uses them and therefore doesn't excrete them as much.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketones and Fatty Acids - Body Fuel</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">The body is capable and runs on 3 types of fuel for energy:</span></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Blood glucose (measurable)</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Ketones (measurable)</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Fatty acids (not measurable)</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Astrocytes</b> are cells that break up fats into ketones. These cells export ketones to be used by neurons. There is evidence that the brain participates in ketone production.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Coconut oil</b> contains <b>fatty acid</b> and <b>lauric acid</b> which, appear to be good substrates for that process and is likely to be helpful against neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer's.</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Ketones = incomplete oxidation (burning) of fats.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">How and why we produce ketones</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Fat adaption vs ketosis</span></b></span><br />
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The KREBS CYCLE</span></b></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Definition: the sequence of reactions by which most living cells generate energy during the process of aerobic respiration. It takes place in the mitochondria, consuming oxygen, producing carbon dioxide and water as waste products, and converting ADP to energy-rich ATP.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Pyruvate converts to Acetyl CoA from pyruvate or fatty acids/fats. The product of this cycle can go one of two ways:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Acetoacetate CoA to acetocetate AcAc which produces Acetone which, is a <b>breath ketone</b> and Beta-hydroxybutrate which, is a <b>blood ketone</b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Succinate enters the cycle from 2 directions: Citrate to isocitrate to beta-ketoglutarate from succinyl CoA originating from succinate OR succinate to fumerate to malate to the byproduct: OAA oxyaloacetate.</span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Amino acids can be used as substrates for pyruvate synthesis or OAA synthesis. If amino acids are converted into glucose via glyconeogenesis - they can become pyruvate again.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">It's necessary to keep carbohydrates LOW ENOUGH to force the body to turn to a different fuel source = FAT</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Keep insulin LOW ENOUGH for the body to turn to fat for fuel.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Insulin inhibits lipolysis</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Most people don't go out of ketosis from eating too much protein. The body will still burn fat even without generating high levels of ketones.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketosis lifestyle vs metabolic treatment</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">When using the ketogenic lifestyle for disease management </span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">keep ketones high! When treating a disease, ketosis levels need to be more extreme and patients must be more vigilant.</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Using ketosis for weight-loss involves a completely different goal, diet, and lifestyle when compared with use of ketosis for metabolic treatment of disease. Using ketosis for good health and weight-loss is beneficial to health no matter what but is NOT a fad-diet.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Benefits of ketosis:</span></b></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Weight-loss</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Blood sugar balance and insulin sensitivity</span></span></li>
<li class="li4"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s1">Increased satisfaction -- decrease in unhealthy food cravings</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Fast well - Feel well</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Here is the is the " secret to the magic" of ketones:</i></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Deplete glucose -- produce ketones</span></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">True ketosis occurs when ketones are naturally released as a byproduct of training the body to be a<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span><br />
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="p7">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">FAT BURNER!!!</span></b></span><br />
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">As a result: the body receives high energy from consuming fat.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Artificially driving up ketones can lead to failure. Nutrient dense food will nourish mitochondria and reduce unhealthy cravings and seeking carbohydrates.</span></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">The best exogenous ketone supplement:</span></span></div>
<div class="p8">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;">FEASTING and FASTING</span></b></span><br />
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span>
<div class="p3" style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration-line: underline;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">DISCLAIMER:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<span class="s1" style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="p3" style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">All information provided here is a culmination of my personal research, reading, listening, and watching videos and podcasts. I am NOT a nutritionist nor a medical doctor. I do not provide medical services or treatment plans. This post is intended as an update of my own interest in the Ketogenic Lifestyle. Always consult with your medical team about your treatment.</span></i></div>
</div>
<div class="p5">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"><i></i></span><br /></span></div>
<br />Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-32951265350095644492018-05-09T10:33:00.004+03:002018-05-09T10:33:54.745+03:00My Notes: The Ketogenic Lifestyle
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/ketogenic-diet-weakens-cancer-cells/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="1000" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFrIeAY4FT4s99fBwHIkPFL0wsldkQcA9_NlH-F8_uJauegjxYP8tAsEGzZPzyFkvCpv5iEpLWZhZnIHyvYgnpiM9LA8rHDBfYl3xAMRMMUNEQGACOVzUQd4Q6r88NQIKtzJEXac7dV8Q/s640/TTAC-Graphic-Ketagenic-No-Sugar.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from <a href="https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/ketogenic-diet-weakens-cancer-cells/" target="_blank">The Truth About Cancer</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="https://www.ruled.me/ketogenic-diet-cancer-interpreting-research/" target="_blank">What is ketosis as a metabolic treatment of cancer?</a></b> </span><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Source Sans Pro", sans-serif;">Ketosis was a beneficial process the human body developed as an adaptation to times when food was unavailable. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Cancer</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> cells rely on glucose for energy and they cannot function without it. By its nature, the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">ketogenic</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">diet is very low in carbohydrates (typically 20 to 50 grams/day). This provides minimal energy to </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">cancer</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">cells. C</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">ancer</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"> cells cannot use the ketones produced when the body breaks down fat for energy.</span></span></h3>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketosis Goal:</span></b></span><span class="s2"> </span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">30-50g / day carb.s</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">>70g / day protein</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Starve Cancer</b></span><span class="s2"><b><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">glucose feeds cancer </span><span style="font-size: large;">(food pyramid)</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">2-5% carbs</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">20% proteins</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">75% fats</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Kickstart Ketosis</span></b></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">3-day water fast</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Intermittent fasting to hold ketosis</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Blood glucose = 70 mg/dl</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Blood ketones = minimum 3.6</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Exercise</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Extra Helpers</span></b></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">MCT oil - allows more carb intake while remaining in ketosis</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Berberine - assists glucose metabolism</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">ALA - facilitates ketosis and enhances insulin sensitivity</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Fenugreek - enhances insulin sensitivity and helps control blood glucose</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p4">
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">AVOID ALL CARB.S & SUGAR!!!</b></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Take away cancer's fuel source! Stay away from ALL sugar, agave, gluten, grains, root vegetables, and most fruit, wheat, oats, rice, quinoa, bread, pasta, beans, legumes, milk and reduced fat dairy, processed meat</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Avoid these Oils</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">cotton seed, sunflower, safflower, soy, canola</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2">Avoid ALL Alcohol</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">BAD Sweeteners </span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-size: large;">(I avoid ALL artificial sweeteners including "diet" drinks)</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-size: large;">1. Aspertame</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">2. Sucralose - Splenda is a toxin</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">3. Saccharine</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">4. Agave</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Glucose - dextrose</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">6. Galactose - milk</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">7. Fructose - fruit</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">8. Honey - 50% fructose</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">9. Rapadura</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sweeteners:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Liquid stevia</span></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Erythritol</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Xylitol</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">According to the ketogenic diet, it's okay to use liquid 100% organic stevia and xylitol though I choose not to.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketogenic Fats - 60-70% caloric intake</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Fats and Oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Avocado</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Butter</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Mayonnaise</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Coconut oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Flaxseed oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Olive oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Sesame oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">MCT oil / powder</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Walnut oil</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Nuts and Seeds</span></b></span><span class="s2"> (in moderation)</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Almonds</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cashews</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Shredded Coconut</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Macadamia</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Hazelnuts</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Peanuts</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Peanut butter</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Tahini<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Walnuts</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Dairy:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Full fat dairy and cheeses</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Fermented dairy</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cottage cheese - full fat</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Sour cream</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Heavy cream</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Proteins:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">High quality meat</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Eggs</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Fish</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Organ meats</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">NO cured meats</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Carbohydrates:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Get your carb.s from leafy green vegetables that grow above ground NO ROOT VEGETABLES</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Leafy greens</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Nuts</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Seeds</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Berries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Alfalfa sprouts</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Artichoke</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Arugula</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Bok Choy</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Celery</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cucumber</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Endive</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Onion</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Peppers</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Spinach</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Tomato</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Fennel</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Mushrooms</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Jicama</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Mung bean sprouts</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Olives</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Lettuce</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Broccoli</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cabbage</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cauliflower</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Leeks</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Hearts of Palm</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Beet greens</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Asparagus</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Eggplant</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Fruit: </span></b>(fructose is as bad or worse than glucose - avoid most fruits)</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Avocado</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Blackberries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Blueberries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cherries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cranberries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Currants</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Gooseberries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Logan berries</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cantaloupe melon</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Honeydew melon<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Raspberries<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Strawberries</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ketogenic Drinks:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Broth</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Club soda</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Coffee</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Lemon juice</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Unsweetened almond milk</span></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s1"><b><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="font-size: x-large;">Organic Acids and Enzymes:</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Unsweetened fermented drinks</span></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Dried herbs without added sugar</span></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">lemon/lime juice</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s2"></span></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px;">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Apple cider vinegar</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Spices: </span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1">Some companies add sugar and other things to spice-mixes</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Basil</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Oregano</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Parsley</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Rosemary</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Thyme</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Chili powder</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cumin</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cinnamon</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Nutmeg</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Lemon/lime juice</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Salt/pepper</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Otto Heinrich Warburg</span> </b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s2"><b>German physiologist/biochemist: - 1931 - won Nobel Prize for his discovery: </b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Cancer as a Metabolic Disease</b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1">Wasteful Metabolism:</span><span class="s2"> cancer cells prefer anaerobic process of fermentation = conversion of sugar into acids, gases, and alcohol.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s2"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Fast growing cancer cells take the "cheaper" easier path of <b>fermentation</b>.</span></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Cells became cancerous by damaged cellular respiration. Mitochondria burn oxygen and glucose = ATP.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Cells deprived of oxygen revert to energy production known as <b>fermentation </b>(anaerobic - no oxygen needed).</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;"> 3.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Fermentation of glucose produces lactic acid causes cancer cells to be very hungry.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Somatic Mutation Theory</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> - Cancer as a genetic disease became mainstream and the Metabolic Theory faded out in 1970 until it's revival via Prof. Thomas Seyfried.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Geneticist Prof. Thomas Seyfried:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Cancer as a Metabolic Disease </b>examined mitochondrial DNA = no mutations found</span>.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s2"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Cancer cells ferment glucose and glutamine to produce energy = food for cancer</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>All Cancer:</b></span></span><span class="s2"> <span style="font-size: large;">defect in <b>Cardiolipin</b> = lipid fat which, composes the membrane of mitochondria that directly controls <b>oxidative phosphorylation</b></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Conclusion:</b></span></span><span class="s2"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span><span style="font-size: large;">cellular DNA becomes cancerous due to need of cells to ferment.</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">*Oncogenes drive fermentation</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">*Damaged respiration = free radicals + lactic acid which create mutations</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p6">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Therapies: </span></b></span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">TAKE AWAY CANCER'S FUEL SOURCE = GLUCOSE</b></div>
<div class="p6">
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">CR: Caloric restriction effect.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Lower blood glucose - raise ketones = kill cancer cells</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;">Biomarkers for CR Caloric Restriction:</span></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li6"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2"><b>LOWER blood glucose</b></span></span></li>
<li class="li6"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2"><b>Elevate blood ketone bodies</b></span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><b></b></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Nutritional Ketosis:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Ketosis drives blood sugar way down</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s2"><span style="font-size: large;">Autophagy - cells "house cleaning" breaks down and recycles defective mitochondria. Autophagy is triggered by nutritional ketosis.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Anti Tumor Effects of CR: </span><span style="font-size: large;">calorie restriction</span></b></span></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Anti-angiogenic</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Anti-inflammatory</span></span></li>
<li class="li3"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s3"></span><span class="s2">Pro-apoptotic = death of cancer cells</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Anti-glycotic drugs:</span></b></span><span class="s2"> <span style="font-size: large;">reduce glycolysis (fermentation)</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"><b>CR</b></span><span class="s2"> - drugs lower glucose levels</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="s1"><b>KD-R</b></span><span class="s2"> with glycolysis inhibitor </span><span class="s1"><b>2-DG </b></span><span class="s2">for managing CT - 2A astrocytoma</span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Vitamin-D</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"><b><span style="font-size: large;">DISCLAIMER:</span></b></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="p3">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>All information provided here is a culmination of my personal research, reading, listening, and watching videos and podcasts. I am NOT a nutritionist nor a medical doctor. I do not provide medical services or treatment plans. This post is intended as an update of my own interest in the Ketogenic Lifestyle. Always consult with your medical team about your treatment.</i></span></div>
<br />Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-29971304541351876642018-05-09T09:52:00.000+03:002018-05-09T09:52:28.508+03:00Please Continue To Pray For Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3u1SQr_AEpbpXtiaBNbiRn_r2ydIwkgAtVA1e0FZrzUQBRqIdNRP_ZUP7gLeiSkr5XoiLbbAUJ4qAZjfvnARs6BAjy9zCjaYqgiTBbX7c5qUos5Em7EtfMbZAywzyXD_gt156vhig5k/s1600/injury.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1266" data-original-width="1600" height="504" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3u1SQr_AEpbpXtiaBNbiRn_r2ydIwkgAtVA1e0FZrzUQBRqIdNRP_ZUP7gLeiSkr5XoiLbbAUJ4qAZjfvnARs6BAjy9zCjaYqgiTBbX7c5qUos5Em7EtfMbZAywzyXD_gt156vhig5k/s640/injury.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bruised and banged up - my new normal due to imbalance and falling regularly</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Throughout</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> my journey with cancer, I've been blessed with a devoted and professional team of oncologists, doctors, and nurses. My care has always been well thought out and I've been given opportunities to participate in up-to-date testing and treatments as they became available.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Treatment of BRCA cancer has</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> evolved and new research data and developments jump out at every corner. At different junctions of my cancer journey, I've gone through countless procedures and </span>been almost<span style="font-family: inherit;"> constantly in some form of treatment. Many of the treatments were covered by my insurance though some have come at a huge expense and needed to be paid for privately. The cancer industry is a booming and wealthy, successful business.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I try not to dwell on the politics of drug companies - as long as they're being helpful to me and not </span><a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2015/07/tesaro-pharmacutical-will-watch-me-die.html" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">harming</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> my care. I've</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> experienced the kinder side of </span>pharmaceutical companies; two who actually supplied me with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of medications.<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Obviously my personal data is now owned by them for their research which, I'm more than happy to participate in especially if it helps other patients.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Currently, I'm receiving oral chemotherapy. I'm getting the full dose which, is very high and isn't without harsh side effects. I'm very grateful that the oral chemotherapy is administered at home and doesn't require as many hospital visits. Unfortunately, I suffer from mouth sores and digestive issues which, seem to be making it impossible for me to reach a healthy body weight. I still cannot complain! I am finally at a point where I can maintain a weight </span>compatible<span style="font-family: inherit;"> with life - though underweight, I'm blessed to have a working digestive system that can absorb enough calories to keep me alive and with a bit of energy too on some days.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I NEED your prayers! Lately, I've experienced difficulty with balance and severe dehydration. Yesterday, I fell while walking slowly. I did not trip. I simply lost my balance and it appears I may have either fractured or bruised several ribs on my right side as well as receiving a nasty bruise on my left knee. I appreciate every prayer which are worth more to me than diamonds and gold!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Over the years, it's become clear to me that most oncologists and medical physicians do not rely on or believe that changes in diet and nutrition can affect, slow or impact cancer or survival rates.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As long as I'm following the conventional expertise of my medical team, I feel empowered by taking responsibility for making healthy nutritional decisions and lifestyle changes. I have done a lot of research and invested a lot of time in learning more about restricting glucose (sugar) intake and maintaining a low-carb diet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Over the years I've been more and less vigilant about my eating however I've mostly remained low-carb and of recent times, due to the increased stamina and destruction of the cancer wreaking havoc on my body - I've become more strict in maintaining a ketogenic metabolic type of diet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many strangers and friends have asked me about the metabolic "treatment" lifestyle that I've adopted and I'm happy to share what I've researched and what I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the next 2 posts, I will share the notes I've taken on the subject of the Ketogenic Lifestyle. No pressure... anyone who is interested is welcome to comment or make suggestions or completely ignore these posts - of course.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: large;">THANK YOU!</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-88922106206142458552018-04-30T09:51:00.002+03:002018-04-30T09:51:39.127+03:00It's A Journey Not A Destination<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For an entire half year, my beloved extended family embraced me and cared for me in every way. I'm forever thankful and definitely blessed to have such infinite unconditional love. Every 3 weeks, I traveled 3-4 hours each way to UCSD Medical Center to receive expensive and somewhat experimental yet very promising oncology care. I was never alone - my family constantly supporting me and accompanying me in every way possible. My UCSD team provided hope that I was just short of a promised improvement and possible cure. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That didn't happen quite as we had all hoped.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I'm still here.</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">November 1st, 2017, I boarded a plane from San Diego, California, and began my long journey home; back to Israel. I didn't have any confirmation of what would happen next. Would I return in 3 weeks to <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2017/10/not-giving-up-is-painful-too.html" target="_blank">receive more immunotherapy</a> (<a href="https://www.keytruda.com/" target="_blank">Keytruda</a>) to treat the tumors growing in my liver? All other plans pointed to yes yet in my heart of hearts; deep below in my own thoughts, I think I knew that my body was breaking down and I was nearing some sort of disaster and I needed to be in Israel where my medical insurance and doctors would be able to treat the many expensive and emergent issues that I was about to go through. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Luckily - we pray and continue to hope - <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2017/09/precious-moments-like-these.html" target="_blank">SBRT</a> </span><span style="font-size: large;">treatment </span><span style="font-size: large;">with Prof. Andrew Sharabi of UCSD may have caused a reaction with delayed results but we can't know. The body is a mysterious place where secrets do lurk. It's all faith... thats what there is to grasp and hold onto for dear life. My air and my life is pure faith in believing</span><span style="font-size: large;"> that not only am I trusting G-d's Will on my journey - that I'm also making sure to stay informed about new treatments as well as listening and working together</span><span style="font-size: large;"> with my wonderful conventional oncology team.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My main focus was <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2017/11/how-do-you-like-them-apples.html" target="_blank">getting back to my husband and children</a>. I hadn't been home for nearly a half year! I'd put my children on a plane, back across the oceans, months ago to begin school. I was an emotional mess - held together by some kind of invisible glue like a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi" target="_blank">Kintsugi</a> (the <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2017/05/dust-clay-and-broken.html" target="_blank">Japanese art</a> of repairing broken vessels with gold paint/glue).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhphcuzJyfjAz5EusyuKyghpdBBPW_Dj07haVv08h_wSOfZbJ4UJf4g1e5V3qeNa0axpMMO2V1mcT26ldqyyWe8ufb3uZ9U6rgkG-NneJX7gq-suYjSaFnuVJf7RkuCSnlWdAxbhU1ohV4/s1600/kintsugi-face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="543" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhphcuzJyfjAz5EusyuKyghpdBBPW_Dj07haVv08h_wSOfZbJ4UJf4g1e5V3qeNa0axpMMO2V1mcT26ldqyyWe8ufb3uZ9U6rgkG-NneJX7gq-suYjSaFnuVJf7RkuCSnlWdAxbhU1ohV4/s400/kintsugi-face.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;">Kintsugi</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;"> is a Japanese art form in which breaks and repairs are treated as part of the object's history. Broken ceramics are carefully mended by artisans with a lacquer resin mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum. The repairs are visible — yet somehow beautiful. </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/stories/what-is-kintsugi" target="_blank">Kintsugi</a> </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;">means "golden joinery" in Japanese.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Prayers and learning of Torah in my honor continue to uplift my being. The unconditional love that surrounds me by family, friends, and strangers keeps me alive!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Shortly after I arrived home, in Israel, it seemed that I was falling apart limb by limb. First we received news from the PET CT results that my liver was in a catastrophic state. All tumors had picked up super-speed in their growth and were beginning to affect my liver function. My blood tests were all wrong! I began another treatment which, seemed to have side effects that could kill me, the least of which being that it turned every hair on my body snow white, not to mention induced chronic vomiting which, led to a weight-loss almost incompatible with life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My <a href="http://ma-ma-bla-bla.blogspot.co.il/2017/11/what-if-and-what-next.html" target="_blank">last post</a> from November 22, 2017 alludes at both my optimism and my fear of the worst. As far as I could feel, </span><span style="font-size: large;">I was dying. Death seemed to loom over my sickbed; over the special electric air mattress that soothed my growing bedsores and my bone-to-mattress contact from being so emaciated</span><span style="font-size: large;">. I could no longer walk. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">First, I had emergency surgery for yet another incarcerated surgical incisional hernia. Next an ambulance was summoned when I couldn't stand or walk due to a tumor mechanically interfering with my left hip joint. I was rushed to have radiation therapy to irradiate and shrink it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Miracles. Miracles. Miracles.</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I spent day after day, week after week in and out of the hospital; in a state of unconsciousness and consciousness....my medical team trying to help relieve my pain while worried about my zombie-state. At one point everyone around me thought I was sneaking medical cannabis because I was so incoherent and unintelligible. I wasn't touching anything. That was my natural state: incoherent and detached from reality.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My body began to produce liters of malignant fluid known in the medical world as, ascites. My belly swelled up to inconceivable proportions and required draining - at first up to 3 liters daily through a tube inserted into my belly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm still alive... I was still living but everything had changed and seemingly for the worse. I lied down in my bed almost 24/7 for months - only rising for minimal necessary moments. I could no longer walk further than our front gate to the car which my husband and I took many rides to the emergency room and hospital in. This went on for months and I know that I missed many milestones in my children's lives and will never get those moments back. It's gone yet I remember very little from that period of time that surely brought so much pain and suffering to my family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Right now, life is not the same life that it was. It's as if I've crossed over into another dimension for many reasons. Many of the experiences and things I have in my soul are too delicate to put into words. I would sound infirm and possibly crazy. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Full tilt ahead. </b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can walk to our front gate now. The Almighty King Above makes the rules. Like I've said many times, I'm just a broken vessel; dust, clay and broken. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-size: large;">The arms are below - braced to catch me - in perfect form but nothing is promised. There are no promises in Life and more mysteries in medicine. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-size: large;">So I take each day as it comes - literally. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-size: large;"><b>One. Day. At. A. Time. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-size: large;">Each and every single day is a gift. In recent days, here, in Israel, we experienced the miraculous all-powerful destruction that something like unexpected weather can have on an entire nation. When <a href="https://www.timesofisrael.com/nahal-tzafit-where-9-students-died-in-a-flood-is-a-popular-canyon-trail/" target="_blank">flash floods hit the South of Israel</a>, taking the young, healthy and innocent lives of Israel's finest young students. It happened in a matter of minutes. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjUMs3Snrm_8hAby87iY_rDfdp0gc4eXfgleCXnixbf27jG8TW7pPwP2t1-JXvtdoc0ELvC8r8K4O3yYrFoOQZCHRysQG8XTFYrIpUUqJB3YLC-T9Ua1sZ7_u5uGDb-j1lwaN8DPuJ7W4/s1600/heroes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="236" data-original-width="601" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjUMs3Snrm_8hAby87iY_rDfdp0gc4eXfgleCXnixbf27jG8TW7pPwP2t1-JXvtdoc0ELvC8r8K4O3yYrFoOQZCHRysQG8XTFYrIpUUqJB3YLC-T9Ua1sZ7_u5uGDb-j1lwaN8DPuJ7W4/s640/heroes.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">10 young souls - victims of the Southern Israel flooding tragedy</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #301324; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The land was dry and then the water, like the floods during the Biblical time of Noah and the Ark, swept their healthy young 18 year old bodies away! These promising young women and young man had their entire lives ahead of them! No person dreamt, in their worst nightmares, that they would live out their last days in April 2018. No one predicted that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #301324; font-size: large;">I cannot help but see all human life - our arms intertwined - hopefully our souls interlaced; embracing each other as we all hang on and we too dangle from a high dry cliff not knowing when that flood may come - or not. We must not stay still awaiting the floods! We must move and change and seek purpose. Every individual has their own reason for blessing this Earth with their presence to build and be.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #301324; font-size: large;">Our lives and our journeys may be different but our vulnerability as people with a Human Condition are the same.</span></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the new dimension in which I live, there is even less fear and uncertainty. My faith has risen like the very deadly waters that may rise. Whether by illness, accident, disaster, or natural means, we are all vulnerable beings. This is not a fear; it is a reality. Life is short and we can only do with it what we decide for ourselves. Each of us on our own private journeys. Some journeys may appear more dangerous, more challenging, or </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">difficult to bear. I assure you that we all carry pain in our hearts. Every soul is in need of a hug, some love, unconditional kindness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These realizations have taken away my abilities to have anger. I may never know what the anonymous person across from me is thinking or dealing with yet I know it is something. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I smile. I say hello. I try to be kind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Acknowledge that we are all intertwined - soul to soul.</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Remember: your happiness is a part of your journey and NOT your destination. Nobody knows your final stop. Nobody but the King Of The Universe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Amen. Thank you G-d for each breath that you give me! Bless You G-d for this moment.</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am forever grateful for the gift of each and every day of life Almighty L-rd.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thank you to my dear friends and family - near and far - for your continued prayers and support.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">PLEASE continue to pray for me: Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta</span></div>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-78297592598204476132017-11-22T12:24:00.000+02:002017-11-22T19:54:58.900+02:00What If? And What Next?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV374_0e2lrgc_swdUH4Y9tN958MwfQ4b3tgpuEaAcX1yoVN0OD2umJZ9L4b0wf2JhpPq7yW9sk0vy8EZ96JUe-g0sRdl8nZnldT46KJcpPnS2kYYSSiq_TeNf_OqDe_Lsatb-gj6dhQg/s1600/0692060B-A14D-48ED-ACB3-4656701CDD2B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1084" data-original-width="1600" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV374_0e2lrgc_swdUH4Y9tN958MwfQ4b3tgpuEaAcX1yoVN0OD2umJZ9L4b0wf2JhpPq7yW9sk0vy8EZ96JUe-g0sRdl8nZnldT46KJcpPnS2kYYSSiq_TeNf_OqDe_Lsatb-gj6dhQg/s640/0692060B-A14D-48ED-ACB3-4656701CDD2B.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thanksgiving is tomorrow - in the United States. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I was happy and feeling that I had something to look forward to; spending Thanksgiving with my American family, for the first time in over 25 years. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Being away from my family in order to receive treatment at UCSanDiego was emotionally very difficult for me and I'm thankful to be back together with my husband and children even though it's not for very happy reasons. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not receiving cancer treatment now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't be sure if my body held back until I was on home ground or if these things would have happened regardless... like the excruciating pain that got worse and worse until I found myself in emergency surgery again. For a <i>normal</i> person, abdominal surgery is a very big deal. I can't remember being in so much pain in a long time. The incision is about 3 inches and if I had to guess how many stitches... I'd say more than 15. I'm not a fan of painkillers or drugs however sometimes that's the only way to survive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Days into my recovery, I began to look like I had an advanced pregnancy tummy. My abdomen was filling up with ascites, which is malignant fluid. The pain and pressure was unbearable. I found myself back in the hospital and after draining over 2.7 liters of fluid, I felt much better. Unfortunately that feeling of relief didn't last. Once again I found myself in the ER in terrible pain. Thankfully, it seems that the pain isn't unusual for abdominal surgery and having nearly 3 liters of fluid drained. Everything is a balance between heaven and earth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Having so much malignant fluid building up is considered bleak for my prognosis. A couple of weeks ago, I had a liver biopsy taken from a new tumor that grew quickly. We're hoping that the genomic sequencing of the tumor will shed insight as to why the immunotherapy wasn't as successful as it appeared it should be. We're hopeful to have results from the DNA and RNA sequencing within a few weeks and possibly new miracles as far a treatment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm thankful for my care and I feel safe in the hands of my oncologist here. I can't help but feel the terror of <i>what if?</i> and <i>what next?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Please continue to pray for miracles....</i></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-81638789054402505992017-11-08T22:44:00.000+02:002017-11-08T22:48:34.030+02:00How do you like them apples?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1oTL6_aSDj1serhf92sP1mOkrPAz78gmqRyaF_hlRD1YnvY7FuieXQqNIzcaAsaiIOYcGZThRlj0zSI8vlnGsLqdvGPTDXB2RoSM-Ia0EGda9rwuNf2L_FBGb2l1kfeysiSiLAjjHjM/s1600/howdoyoulikethemapples.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1083" data-original-width="1600" height="432" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1oTL6_aSDj1serhf92sP1mOkrPAz78gmqRyaF_hlRD1YnvY7FuieXQqNIzcaAsaiIOYcGZThRlj0zSI8vlnGsLqdvGPTDXB2RoSM-Ia0EGda9rwuNf2L_FBGb2l1kfeysiSiLAjjHjM/s640/howdoyoulikethemapples.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"Nobody knows when their time will come... look at you beating cancer! You're going to make it. You have the determination to kick Cancer's a$$!" and, "You know that there are people who just drop dead or are killed out of nowhere?!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I know. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I can step off of a curb and be hit by a bus.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I could be be struck by lightening. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I might get shot in the back by a psychopath.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I could die from an endless exaggeration of the imagination. Nevertheless, the tragic deaths of others does NOT make me move my feet to some imaginary rhythm. Surprise! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm very grateful that I have stage 4 ovarian cancer and I'm STILL alive after 5 years and telling me that other people died or were killed in tragic circumstances lends me zero comfort.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm very blessed to be able to fly across the world to receive exorbitantly expensive treatments unavailable to many women in my situation. The love and support that nurtures me is beyond sensational. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I am profoundly grateful for each day that may lead me back to living with my husband and children; like the family we once were.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's not death I fear. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I tremble with terror - not every day of course - but there are plenty of occasions. My life involuntarily revolves around hospitals, surgeries, oncologists, bad news, good news, chemotherapy, pain, drug trials, nausea, old drugs, new drugs, biopsies, CT scans, PET scans, waiting for news, radiation.... Tumors grow and tumors shrink and sometimes tumors just appear out of nowhere. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Cancer is as unpredictable as life.</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I've been away for 4 months and returned to a thriving, fully functioning, burgeoning and peaceful family. I don't need to be reminded that I was missed and that I am loved. I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Praise God, my family is magnificent. My children are celestial in their strength, determination, and age appropriate normalcy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I'm saying this: they are fine without me. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">As a mother of five </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">extraordinary children, I'm not distressed that my leaving them, in the most tragic of circumstances, will damage or scar them for life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I mourn Bat Mitzvahs and graduations without me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm brokenhearted thinking about who will take my place walking my children down the aisle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I grieve over the grandchildren I may never know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I envy the woman who may prepare my daughters for the magic of becoming mothers; instead of me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm sick at heart knowing that each happy occasion together could be the last. I haven't been hit by a bus nor struck by lightening and it is I who has lived so blessedly with appreciation and acceptance of my reality for more than 5 years. I concede to the reality of persistent aggressive cancer that loves me so. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Lance Armstrong</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> was once a beloved cancer survivor who was legendary on a bike, transcended cancer, and won 7 Tour de France Tours. His doping case was ablaze and coming to a verdict mere months after I was diagnosed, but I had already read his books. His determination and spirit had already touched me. He defied nature on a bike and albeit we all discovered why - before <i>Lance Armstrong</i> became a profanity; his words and his journey gave me tremendous hope. Lance was found guilty in his athletic superiority but his survivorship of cancer is nothing short of miraculous. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">At the end of 2001, Lance said, <b>"Without cancer, I never would have won a single Tour de France.</b></span><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> Cancer taught me a plan for more purposeful living, and that in turn taught me how to train and to win more purposefully. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">It taught me that pain has a reason, and that sometimes the experience of losing things - whether health or a car or an old sense of self - has its own value in the scheme of life. Pain and loss are great enhancers."</span></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There's one line that Lance Armstrong wrote, that often reverberates in my head. Just 8 kilometers before he won his first Tour de France in 1999, he yelled triumphantly:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">How do you like them apples?!</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I know he wasn't the first to say it but I felt his glory and it changed me. Someday in the future, I yearn </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">to </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">cheer those words with emotion and triumph that "incurable</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">" Cancer Survivor and elite athlete Lance Armstrong did. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I <i>still</i> have hope and I'm <i>still</i> terrified.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-74236676642455984952017-10-15T11:33:00.000+03:002017-10-15T11:33:04.796+03:00NOT Giving Up Is Painful Too...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwt54afVAwizJIKaw31jB_kYsBziTtNf26OrKEjxT67xX24EgZ7DvKqeUMhSCUE8fcdaFfiqO-OQYPEAqgye7AZ-R3UVIZXnQ9gTGO218LCNU3THNtrOPPHv-GdZjDlQM_k2F4DtzoZw8/s1600/burdened.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="1600" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwt54afVAwizJIKaw31jB_kYsBziTtNf26OrKEjxT67xX24EgZ7DvKqeUMhSCUE8fcdaFfiqO-OQYPEAqgye7AZ-R3UVIZXnQ9gTGO218LCNU3THNtrOPPHv-GdZjDlQM_k2F4DtzoZw8/s640/burdened.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's been FIVE years and 3 months.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My eldest is now 16.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My youngest is now 7.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Our 5 children were aged 11, 9, 6, 4 and 2 when they received my diagnosis in 2012. </span><span style="font-size: large;">MY cancer is their cancer. My kids hardly remember anything different - it's "just normal" in our house.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't think my husband has had a restful night of sleep since July 22, 2012. I can only imagine what my cancer has done to my parents and siblings....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm disappointed about how my case ended up in Israel; hopeless. Everyone was ready to just give up on my life and let's just put it out there - it's infuriating that my life wasn't worth saving. It's painful to realize that I had to abandon my entire family and my life in order to try to survive.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Everyone gave up on me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I had to scour the earth to find the ONE team that believed in my survival and still believes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some days are lonely. Sick. Nauseating.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Some days are happy. Celebratory. Special.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">NOT giving up is also painful. It's expensive. It's terrifying. It has to be a burden to everyone involved. It just is. Sick people and people with cancer - we're not exactly pretty. Cancer is a constant reminder of death and destruction. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Holding a true space for what it MEANS to BE the one with cancer is many things. It's oppressive and mortifying to be <i>The One </i>with<i> </i>cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's been 5 years and 3 months and I'm in treatment and there's more to come; maybe a simple CT guided needle biopsy suddenly isn't looking so simple. Will I have major surgery for a 10-20% chance?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Roll the dice.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm tired.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Time for bed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tomorrow is a new day.</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-29053765184338741972017-10-01T21:48:00.001+03:002017-10-01T21:48:19.565+03:00Never Too Late For A Clean Slate! (retro post)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh74PuK9GzzWuQ6nWmhHCw9eJ40W0YoZ2JfUHWcG7QE1krgtyRDx6iCzUURecqz9mtUnMu-h2SCWLAjOTD8jecRnY67YDoruRDxcPfjsxtyPRgNPiRLvHRoBtgxN4uVx1ZDOIMj5fMdgaI/s1600/Kapparah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1215" data-original-width="1600" height="483" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh74PuK9GzzWuQ6nWmhHCw9eJ40W0YoZ2JfUHWcG7QE1krgtyRDx6iCzUURecqz9mtUnMu-h2SCWLAjOTD8jecRnY67YDoruRDxcPfjsxtyPRgNPiRLvHRoBtgxN4uVx1ZDOIMj5fMdgaI/s640/Kapparah.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As the pages thin, on last year’s Book of Life, it’s time for introspection and self examination of our souls and our purpose on this earth. I always loved High Holiday season in the Holyland, more than Passover, Purim, and even Channukah. It’s my favorite time of year. The supermarket checkouts are landlocked with hurried shoppers, planning extravagant menus. Clothing and shoe stores compete for holiday sales with deals and reduced prices. The constant frenzy of festivity, in the still very hot summer air, can be felt from Eilat to The Golan. Just over eight days ago, Jews around the world lit candles and welcomed Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year. We greeted each other with, </span><em style="font-size: x-large; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">L’shana Tova, Ketivah vi-chatima Tova,</em><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">which means, For a good year, you should be written and sealed in the Book of Life. We prayed for forgiveness and we begged G-d to write us into The Book of Life for the coming New Year. On Yom Kippur, G‑d mercifully erases all the sins we committed against G-d. For on this day [</span><span class="glossary_item" style="font-size: large; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Yom Kippur</span><span style="font-size: large;">] He shall effect atonement for you to cleanse you. Before</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="glossary_item" style="font-size: large; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">G‑d</span><span style="font-size: large;">, you shall be cleansed from all your sins – Leviticus 16:30. Additionally, we specifically ask and (hopefully) receive forgiveness from anyone we may have hurt, insulted, or wronged during the previous year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many Jewish communities share the custom of performing Kapparot before Yom Kippur. The ritual involves waving a chicken over your head three times while reciting a passage. The chicken is then slaughtered and donated or its monetary worth is given to the poor. Perhaps if we show exceptional mercy on G-d’s creatures during Kapparot, G-d will show His mercy on us too. Watching from afar, I’ve seen my share of chicken-waving. Feathers flying is a sure symbol that Yom Kippur is coming. As someone who grew up with the feathered creatures as pets, I’ll stick to the alternate ritual of swinging coins over my head.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">After my life-threatening diagnosis, The Book of Life, took on a new meaning for me. The timing of my diagnosis and beginning of my cancer journey was remarkable. Fighting for my life, not figuratively, is spiritually awakening. I decided that I want to be a kinder person and share and reflect the kindness that has been and is being shown to me. As Yom Kippur approaches, this Shabbat, The Book is forever closing on last year. We are handed a clean slate. What will be written on that slate is still open for discussion. That’s the situation for everyone; healthy or sick, each of us is given a fresh start. When I close my eyes and let my soul open to the rush of emotions, what emanates and emerges is love, faith, and forgiveness. In the past, during the process of asking for forgiveness, I might have found myself remembering moments when I felt hurt, cheated, or ignored. Old wounds from past relationships inevitably reopened; weepy and bloody. As an observant Jew, I know that we are commanded, by G-d, to forgive. In Leviticus 19:18, the holy <span class="glossary_item" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Torah</span> explicitly forbids us from taking revenge or bearing grudges. It also commands us, Do not hate your brother in your heart – Leviticus 19:17. In the past, pain from old or current relationships held me back. Did <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">I </strong>need forgiveness from those who had hurt <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">me</strong>? I’ve definitely caught myself holding onto negative emotions about myself and others and it can be extremely challenging to let go. Those left over negative influences were felt each time my fist beat against my chest, and I could feel them, physically and spiritually, reminders that my slate wasn’t completely clean. Possibly the greatest gift that cancer gave me was a renewed desire and ability for forgiveness. The unequivocal act of faith and love is being able to forgive myself and the other souls in my life regardless of who was at fault.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Most of our interactions are with people whose pain is private and hidden from us. I learned invaluable lessons during my weekly visits to the hospital. Week after week, forcing myself to show up for chemotherapy treatments, I had quiet access to raw life and death suffering. There are many ways that different people choose to behave and express their challenges along life’s journey. We notice the spirited and loud ones and sometimes ignore those who suffer in silence. So much pain and insight can lurk behind both smiling and scowling facades. Back in 2014, I remember feeling especially sad and low on yet another miserable morning of waiting for blood tests and results before chemo. My husband and I had I secured the loneliest bed in the corner of the most distant room because I didn’t want to make small talk and I wanted to curl up into a ball and stop the world from spinning out of control… for just a few moments. We turned off the lights and enjoyed the silence. Mere moments after settling down in my peaceful corner, a very loud crowd joined me in my private room. A bald and strained woman took a bed, subsequently, her family went about turning on all the lights, speaking loudly on their cellphones and eating pungent aromatic food that left every one of my senses assaulted. What I felt in my heart was rage and self pity yet I gently asked them to turn off some of the lights, and make less noise. The lady reacted very angrily to me. She yelled at me and accused me of being an “elite Ashkenazi” and shamed me for thinking I had “protektzia” to take over the whole room! Verging on tears, I got up from my bed, walked right up to the miserable woman, grabbed her hand and I looked right into her watery eyes. Gazing at her face, I saw such wretched anguish and despair, my heart crumpled, and my rage left me. She squealed, “Aiy! Your hands are so cold! Just like mine!” I hugged the woman and told her that we both are having chemo and we’re both feeling the same pain and fear. I acknowledged her discomfort and her illness. Suddenly, her anger changed and she began blessing me and wishing me a full recovery! I felt relieved that the energy in the room had changed to peaceful! In that moment, I vowed never to react to a stranger with anger again. This complete stranger, who had moments ago cursed and offended me was now immediately forgiven and a painful weight was lifted from my shoulders.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every New Year, well meaning people make resolutions about their health; exercise more, quit smoking, lose weight, eat healthier, whatever! Without health we have nothing. Good health includes the body however, without a healthy mind and soul, there is no foundation for the vessel which G-d gave us. Without grievances, we would never know what we truly want, or want to make better. Even negative emotions are an essential part of life. Pain, skepticism, sadness, and anger are priceless reminders and guidelines for deciding what we desire for ourselves and, in relationships with others. Our heart, mind, and body feel incredible stress when we carry grudges. Avoiding someone in the supermarket or screening phone calls adds to life’s daily stresses. Resisting or prolonging the process of forgiveness also perpetuates sadness and a stressful state which is detrimental to physical and spiritual health. I finally realized that holding on to anger or grudges, no matter how justifiable, keeps me from learning and growing beyond whatever it was that made me feel uncomfortable to begin with.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My prayer, for Yom Kippur, is partly and greatly focused on <b>you</b> forgiving yourself! Completely and fully forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and acknowledge that, in being unkind, you were experiencing slivers of your soul that need healing. These forgivable chunks of yourself do not define who you are. The negative result of betrayal, sadness, and perhaps anger, was because someone else was incapable of meeting you where you needed them. They failed your expectations. The memory of betrayal is replayed in your heart, over and over again, until it generates a life of it’s own, growing out of control like a monster of childhood nightmares. Such intense pain makes forgiveness gargantuan and seemingly impossible. When I’m faced with that seeming nightmare of betrayal or pain, I identify what I want for myself and focus on it with all my might but as long as I repeatedly replay visions of emotional pain, and seek validation for how awful it was, I’m paralyzed. Moving forward is a choice. When resistance to forgive consequently ripens the fruit of forgiveness, it’s courageous and delectable! Forgiveness is the tiny miracle that makes it happen. That is one of the greatest gifts that G-d gave to humans; the ability to forgive just as He forgives us. I no longer wait for Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. I try to forgive every single day. Each day that I forgive myself, it gives me such relief to embrace the feelings that brings me a peaceful mind, heart, and body. I give myself the gift of forgiveness every morning and evening and I hope that gift will be reciprocated by those who love me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Droid Serif;">I would like to bless all of my readers, friends, and family with the gift of forgiveness and I wish every reader, every friend, every family member the gift of a clean slate filled with good health for the coming year! L’Refuah Shleimah l’kol Cholei Yisroel!</span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Droid Serif;">Shanah tova u’metuka! A good and sweet year to all!</span></span></div>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-14224007045137530352017-09-29T17:55:00.000+03:002017-09-29T18:20:10.045+03:00Precious Moments Like These...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today I had my 2nd <a href="http://myhealth.ucsd.edu/3,41351" target="_blank">SBRT radiation treatment at Moores</a>. The 1st treatment left me vomiting my guts out and fearing I would be too weak and tired to enjoy the remainder of my stay in spectacular La Jolla. I refuse to allow physical vulnerability to downgrade </span><span style="font-size: large;">my gratitude or </span><span style="font-size: large;">exhilaration</span><span style="font-size: large;"> which may seem to come from the skies but it's my mindset. My journey continues - thankfully - with meaningful experiences that I may have never had the opportunity to have had my path in life been different.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This Life is is so complicated and wrought with pain, suffering, and insecurity. yet time and time again I'm blessed with precious moments that remind me why my life is meaningful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After Rosh HaShana, I was asked to give a talk to 7th graders preparing for bar/t mitzvah. I hesitated for a few seconds... just wondering if I had the inspiration to do it well enough to bring a message that could speak to such a young group of youth at a significant crossroads in their lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I said yes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The honor was all mine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After their prayer service and celebratory breakfast - I was their guest speaker. The audience was made up of girls and boys in 7th grade, their parents, and teachers. The sanctuary was silent and my voice boomed and reverberated in that beautiful space with giant windows. The trees outside were beautifully swaying and the natural light shinned in - bringing the power of nature into our space.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It ended up being a delightful and momentous morning for me... and a cross-section of our present and our future. These are our children now who will lead us into tomorrow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Precious moments like these make (my) life meaningful... I hope so too for the treasured souls that I had the honor of connecting with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On the eve of our Jewish Day Of Atonement - Yom Kippur - we reflect on the past year. Did we appreciate all of the gifts that God blessed us with? Did we have gratitude for each day? Were we kind? Were we generous with our time and did we give of our souls? Did our challenges bring us closer to God... did we forgive? Did we forgive God for our moments of distrust and suspicion - were we forgiven? </span><span style="font-size: large;">Did we forgive ourselves?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">G'mar chatimah tovah! May you be inscribed in The Book Of Life for good! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-34462388597505024642017-09-26T19:11:00.001+03:002017-10-01T01:05:27.433+03:00Radiation Day 1 - Graditude & My Happy Place<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is another first.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today I am scheduled to have my first round of SBRT radiation treatment at UCSD. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Here is <a href="http://theoncologist.alphamedpress.org/content/22/6/631.full" target="_blank">a scholarly article</a> written by my rockstar dream team doctors Andrew Sharabi and Sandip Patel. The scholarly article describes more or less the type of treatment that I am undergoing right now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Love.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Faith.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Hope.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Gratitude. </span></div>
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<br />Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-55167292012921087392017-09-17T21:12:00.000+03:002017-09-17T21:16:55.547+03:00Happiness Guaranteed: The Recipe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">All soft mattresses have long been stowed away</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">. The most </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">perilous</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> event is in action.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The arms are below - braced to catch me - in perfect form but nothing is promised. There are no promises in Life and more mysteries are in medicine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">In slow motion with sound siphoned into a motionless vacuum, f</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">or this millisecond I'm frozen in time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am a woman suspended</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> midair.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Perfectly aligned.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Heartbeat: regular.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Blood pressure: low.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Secured in place with hope, love, and faith.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">An </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">invigorated</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> monster calculates my trajectory and prepares for my landing. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A beast in my liver is aggressive and growing with vengeance. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">The treatments prove to be working lest that beast outruns me to my prepared landing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">That beast is the darkness that remains - the most vicious one I've ever been faced with.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Plan Be.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Radiation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Immediately!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I look into the arms that I pray will catch me with ease. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I see<i> so much</i> <i>"cancer"</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Each with your own pittance or portion. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I know what the answer is: it's not to fight and </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">slay "cancer". Happiness awaits each and every one of us through sickness and health, through crisis and tragedy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Meaning.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Meaningfulness.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Virtue, kindness, righteousness, generosity and love is the recipe for happiness. The </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">guarantee of true </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">happiness is always protected by fortitude, morality, and excellence.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Stop pursuing happiness - p</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">ursue meaning.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Meaningfulness will unavoidably shower you with fulfillment and joy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This millisecond will continue for as long as it will.... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I attempt to stay upright in the sky - in the air - hoping and believing that those arms below will catch me again.</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-85992486036340941352017-09-14T01:49:00.000+03:002017-10-01T01:06:51.780+03:00Shinning Beyond The Darkness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs4Q1RNNuucM_PTMQrB7EA47YTjiysHeZfEVuMZRNWQDHtI2bRlidfk4qFnc3OItBt0DGYE9zZFXtQsnSbRM3WZobgrTvu6dp-LIEfQeLws54qPsyqwEm0JUlK25HOADawveJ2ST81mtU/s1600/showmethelight.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="811" data-original-width="1600" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs4Q1RNNuucM_PTMQrB7EA47YTjiysHeZfEVuMZRNWQDHtI2bRlidfk4qFnc3OItBt0DGYE9zZFXtQsnSbRM3WZobgrTvu6dp-LIEfQeLws54qPsyqwEm0JUlK25HOADawveJ2ST81mtU/s640/showmethelight.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I wonder how many people on earth emotionally and physically define their existence by experiencing their lives as a constant state of chasing and appreciating miracles. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Right now is a miracle.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's become routine; receiving devastating results with disastrous potentialities, I fall, I get up. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I get snagged for some beats; long beats, short beats. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The longer beats are like a record <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">stylus skipping</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;"> over rows of grooves. T</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">he needle snags in a groove and bounces backwards - repeating</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> the same offensive 2 seconds of track incessantly:</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i style="color: #222222;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Game over! </span></b></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i style="color: #222222;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Game over! </span></b></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i style="color: #222222;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Game over! </span></b></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i style="color: #222222;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Game over!</span></b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">Until somehow God, Himself, comes and lifts the needle from that skipping and recurrence of that 2 seconds of track:<i><b> Game over! </b></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Recurrence. Tumors. Cancer.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i style="color: #222222;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></i></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It's been 5 years and 2 months since my personal miracle sustainer was put on trial. My miracle chasing obsession intensified and here I am today. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I'm hoping that God will lift that needle. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I pray He will muffle those 2 seconds of track.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Do you understand why <i>this</i> <i>life</i> is different? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I delight in one miracle while containing tragic devastation, and simultaneously reaching out to catch the next miracle. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There's always a thick path of darkness before the shinning can </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">even be detected.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My next miracle wafts </span>directly in my path beyond<span style="font-family: inherit;"> a thick fog. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">It has a delicate amount of shine beyond the darkness. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Presumably, we all live from miracle to miracle; a part of </span>quintessential <span style="font-family: inherit;">life. I'm not saying that living an ordinary life means taking miracles for granted. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not at all. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Acknowledging and <span style="font-family: inherit;">delighting in each incident or phenomenon with full enthusiasm and ferocity would deplete emotional capacity very quickly. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Concentrating all senses on complete gratitude for this moment - this breath - this individual heartbeat....</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's inconceivable.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">All of this journey I've had to travel, the detours, just everything that's happened... right now I'm just existing by c</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">hasing after miracles. It </span>is a full time passion and I guess I'm simply<span style="font-family: inherit;"> destined to the obligation. It's my motherly responsibility to keep pursuing mercy and magic; unicorns and rainbows - which I know are manifestations of The Almighty and </span>All-knowing<span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I'm numb.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's like the torment diminished my abilities to indulge or savor anything like I used to. Constant faith</span>,<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>ecstasy<span style="font-family: inherit;">, and hypnosis all jumbled together are fundamental just to equalize the immeasurable intensity of living with a nonstop memento of wild</span> fear and threats<span style="font-family: inherit;">. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">How?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">When?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Those aren't legitimate questions. The answers are </span>indecipherable. Those puzzles are unsolvable, incomprehensible, and padlocked<span style="font-family: inherit;">. That chapter isn't yet written or my merciless 2 second track is about to play relentlessly.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Somebody pull the plug.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-29062694963713048872017-09-05T00:47:00.004+03:002017-10-01T01:05:53.521+03:00My Journey is Still Relevant<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKoLU2HVZTpBA07z39SmEoomPJQN1gnLHBVv-rBRXOEtr0UJtxks22ilg3YX6-3X4gMsFjT-jMlAbfmaTnCv7wslw4EMiqvxWWMob57psWZibzfp8SPvNkGAMhfIfedhyhk4tLNn_s-mQ/s1600/blurrybabies.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="897" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKoLU2HVZTpBA07z39SmEoomPJQN1gnLHBVv-rBRXOEtr0UJtxks22ilg3YX6-3X4gMsFjT-jMlAbfmaTnCv7wslw4EMiqvxWWMob57psWZibzfp8SPvNkGAMhfIfedhyhk4tLNn_s-mQ/s640/blurrybabies.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I often mention, in my posts, that earth is only part of The Journey.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Life is short - isn't a cliche</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I believe we're each here for a reason....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Every word that I write comes from my soul. I mean <u>every</u> word.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This summer, I embarked on a new leg of my Journey. I'd hit the wall. I'd endured two courses of treatment that did nothing beneficial for me. I arrived at The-end-of-the-road. I'd exhausted all of the advanced ovarian cancer treatment protocols and it was basically <i>game-over</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As deeply as I understand that I'm not going to survive Life and we're all going to die, I just don't think I've fulfilled all of my responsibilities on this earth yet. I began searching the world for other, newer treatments for my disease, months before my health insurance company called quits and put me on the <i>"financially undeserving" </i>list. I embarked on my Plan Be even months before my final wasted treatment.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I scoured the planet for a cancer center, clinical trial, or new therapy that could possibly offer me an alternative choice to accepting I'd reached the last chapter; the part where every option for extending life is expired.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I found it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm here and I'm getting treatment.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My medical insurance denies me repeatedly for coverage of these new treatments that I'm receiving on another continent. The good news is that the Ministry Of Health disagrees with them... so there's that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I have hope because while it could be an effect of recovering from chemotherapy - I feel better than I have in a very long time. I have hope yet it's an agonizing existence living away from my husband and young children. No amount of FaceTime and technology can replace the connection of a cuddle or an embrace. No amount of hope can completely rectify my absence from my children's lives so that I may extend mine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We don't have guarantees that this treatment will work - so there's always a risk that I'm absent AND not even extending our time together.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">One revelation is that my children are not only surviving but thriving without me - so far away; on another continent. Of course my joy and comfort is seeing my babies smiling and living even while lacking my presence. I feel I've helped get them to their steady places. I know that they're special kids who have taken our challenges and lassoed their pain to energize and live with positivity and luster even in a household with some cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't help pondering and obsessing with the question: why this and why now? If I've been embraced by miracles so many times, why is this huge detour my chosen path? Why have I been so blessed to survive these 5 years only to be sent so far away from my life and my husband and my children? Maybe this is the answer? To prove to me that when the time comes. I can relax and let go because my children are thriving.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know why.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This Journey is still happening. I'm alive and confused. I'm scared and I'm hopeful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Apparently, my adventurous Journey is still relevant and we're ON!</span>Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4454210556244278235.post-34189222109225698942017-06-29T18:27:00.000+03:002017-10-01T01:07:10.735+03:00Hitting The Wall<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZLT68F84hAqXGDyfldA608zCdA4Ls84NMo-x0qxxnY34QwP_pbtkhq1J1ZIxsqjdKQqKTSauipJuqlBo_fMeU4uxpD5ziv-E7j_tmCK7RYbhCyQbYiQvlZpFXFquGaeJrr0qQS-KLxU/s1600/AhavaEmunah.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZLT68F84hAqXGDyfldA608zCdA4Ls84NMo-x0qxxnY34QwP_pbtkhq1J1ZIxsqjdKQqKTSauipJuqlBo_fMeU4uxpD5ziv-E7j_tmCK7RYbhCyQbYiQvlZpFXFquGaeJrr0qQS-KLxU/s640/AhavaEmunah.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Along my journey, I've learned that my fear is sometimes far worse than reality. Over the past 5 years, I've had to deal with frequent assault, threat, and uncertainty about my health and survival. If life is a journey, I've had my share of forks in the road. I've had to choose between different paths and I've hit roadblocks and even walls. It seems that life itself is so unpredictable that sometimes the only thing to be done is to harness the fear and marvel at it as yet another human sensation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I seem to be better at creating imagery and making revelations than taking and internalizing reality. In turning my fear into a sensation and normalizing this almost constant struggle between true threat on my life and true happiness; danger versus euphoria, I've come to yet another revelation also involving imagery. Life is like a marathon. Runners will relate and I can tell you how excruciating and disappointing it feels to Hit The Wall.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A popular modern phenomenon is the vogue of training for and completing marathons in face of adversity. A way of facing catastrophe and survival of disasters is committing to training for and completing a full marathon. Somehow facing 42 kilometers or 26 miles; jumping into training with both feet, is symbolic for conquering fear and disaster. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Everyone who trains for a marathon will Hit The Wall. So many factors contribute to the experience, and some are within your control and some are completely out of your command. Just like cancer - it can be genetic or environmental, and sometimes we just don't know. Treatments lead to healing but sometimes even the best treatments can fail. It's not completely in our control and a marathon runner never stops training for their next race day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the runner's world, hitting the wall means depleting your stored energy source resulting in physical fatigue and extreme emotional negativity goes along with it. A form of carbohydrate called glycogen is stored in our muscles and liver for energy and when those stores run out... you <i>hit the wall</i>. When the body's most available fuel source burns out, even your brain wants to shut down in order to preserve energy, which leads to the negative emotions that accompany <i>hitting the wall</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been through so much pain and faced so many tribulations and who hasn't? Over the past 5 years, I've shared my journey with all the bumps, forks, crossroads, and junctions. Let me tell you... this time: I finally Hit The Wall. I smashed into that wall so hard, the bricks and mortar came crashing down and buried me deep under a pile so heavy I'm amazed I was able to climb out for air. I'm still on my hands and knees. I'm still climbing out and perhaps being pulled out is a more honest description.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Not every single day in life can or should be "race day". Why fear Hitting The Wall every single day? I like to say that I run with cancer and not from it. I aspire to live life as a journey; not something to be feared, fought, or conquered (unless it's race day, of course). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , "nimbus sans l" , sans-serif;">Living a meaningful and productive life is more than just logging the miles. Living is a comprehensive process of body, mind, and spirit. At the end of it you should aspire to go through a complete metamorphosis into a runner that is warmed up, prepared and ready to be able to deal with all of the requirements of the marathon. Between stored energy, boosts of energy from resources around you (family, friends and community) and accessible faith, we actually do have the ability to run many, many miles.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , "nimbus sans l" , sans-serif;">I'm praying for the strength and miracles to stay in the race and keep on running....</span></span></div>
Ahava Emunah Langehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004702546746869862noreply@blogger.com6