It's been a while since I've posted and so much has happened. It's no secret that I live in Israel and I've been debating whether or not to write while I'm feeling so much stress and turmoil resulting from the current war going on here. How can I NOT write about it and still keep things real?
Today was possibly my most vulnerable and emotional day and it had absolutely nothing to do with cancer or chemo. Today I said an open ended goodbye to my youngest brother, only 19 and a soldier in the IDF, moments before he turned in his cellphone and headed off to protect our beloved Israel. Why am I crying? Where is the anguish coming from? Surely I've shown my faith in G-d and my belief that everything is for the good. Yes. I have full faith in G-d above. Losing complete contact with my purely good and precious young brother, knowing that our enemy on the other side only wants to kill and destroy makes my heart ache with an agony that is indescribable. Relating to my current situation, I see our enemy as a cancer. A cancer that only knows to feed off of its host, starving it, and slowly sucking the life out of it until death.
I have no control of anything in this world but myself. I can only fight the cancer within. I feel powerless, sad and angry about this external cancer that's threatening my family, my friends, neighbors, and country.
Please G-d! Please help us bring an end to this illness; this horrible cancer so we can live in peace. Please keep every one of our precious brothers and sisters (sons and daughters) safe and sound.