Sunday, January 5, 2014
What Can I Say?
I need some miracles. Let's pray that the Almighty Above says, "YES!" to our prayers. Metastatic cancer in the liver and lung isn't good. I'm scared because I don't want to lose my hope. In my somewhat short life of 38 years, I've never felt so close to drowning as I do now. For two whole days, I was lost beyond return. What's going to happen??? Nobody can answer me. We are trying to find reasons to feel hopeful about a bad situation now.
I feel physically healthy and strong enough to go out on 10 KM runs every other day... so how can I have stage 4 cancer? It doesn't make sense. I know, I'm supposed to enjoy every moment that I have now and hope for the best. Hope that we can create a treatment that will work.
This week, I'm having surgery to try to remove a tumor in my lung and have pieces of the tumor grafted into mice. Personalized oncology, designer chemotherapy... whatever you want to call it. I need this to work but we won't know for a few months. Those mice are going to have to travel to the United States and hopefully they'll stay alive for a very long time with some successful chemo drugs!
For now, just keeping things real... and trying to keep on moving forward.