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Sunday, August 26, 2018

It's (NOT) About Me


I hope that my beloved readers have had a wonderful and blessed summer. 

Summertime can be difficult for working parents or those who already feel the financial strain of both the last and impending years. 
Summer is hot!
Summer is expensive!
Summer is a wonderful time for both the trees and the flowers to grow.... and the children seem to need the miracles of summer-sun too.

As Summertime approached, I greatly feared how and what I could do, in my gradually worsening condition, to make positive summer memories for my family and myself. While the world has been away on summer vacations and trips, working, and whatnot, Cancer has been on full time high drive, making my life more and more difficult to enjoy in any physical sense.

I am thankful and blessed to have such loving and special people in my life. The love and kindness that is showered on my children and my whole family comes from such pure and modest loved ones and I am careful about what I'm willing to share. Believe it or not, there are some things that I keep strictly private.

While I seem to stay in a perpetual state of "everything is great" and "As long as I can live like this for years and years.... I'm happy and fine".... That state of being physically able to be "happy and fine" while in constant pain has become unbearable. 


I've reached a junction. Mortality is becoming stronger and stronger. The PET CT scans show the progression. Without me needing to actually even see the results, I know.

My dad went to work researching treatments.  If you remember past posts about the Ketogenic Diet and Lifestyle, you'll know what we have been looking into and I'm even surprised that that was back in May, exactly a year after investigating the last very important treatments that I underwent at UCSD, in San Diego, California.  

The professor that’s famous for the current treatments we're about to try is Professor Thomas Seyfried, a professor at Boston University, known for his cancer research and specifically treating cancer as a metabolic disease. 

Of course with every treatment that I do, we’re hoping for miracles. The treatments I am going for are NOT experimental however I must remember that my hope must be stronger than my expectations; nothing is promised to me and each day that I am given is an invaluable gift. 

My dad researched the treatment and the science behind it and we believe that it could save my life. We wish to and plan to work together with every member of my oncology team; weighing in on their experience and expertise in every way that we can while making choices and decisions about my care. These treatments are only available for humans in Istanbul, Turkey, which is where I will be traveling to, with my father this week, to begin treatment.

I’ve read and watched many research papers and videos and compiled what I believe to be a good cross section of the methods used at Chemo Thermia Clinic in Istanbul, Turkey.

This is a scholarly article from Professor Seyfried‘s book: 


Below is an approximately 1 hour YouTube video presented by Professor Thomas Seyfried of Boston University including a lengthy interview with Dr. Abdul Slocum. 





One of the things that Professor Slocum had to say which, impressed me was a personal understanding of who I am and what I believe in regarding my own disease, regarding myself being an exceptional patient. Dr Abdul Slocum - who is the one who’s become an expert on the details of my case has made it pretty clear that he’s memorized my PET CT scans and patient history. This treatment is really important for me as my illness has progressed and I needed to find something that is special and specific to my body and course of disease. While Dr.s Slocum and Mehmet Salih iyikesici recognize the advanced state of my disease, they’re still optimistic about treating me because I keep myself strong and fit physically and because I have an exceptional patient’s outlook and attitude. They have witnessed that people who are exceptional in that way do better overall in treatment and have better prognosis’s when their will to live is very strong; like mine. My physical fitness is very important to them and the fact that “I am NOT cancer” and that I choose to live an almost normal life IN SPITE of cancer gives me the status of an exceptional and compliant patient that will follow through even with “annoying/difficult” physical challenges as part of the treatments. They’re absolutely NOT making any promises however they feel that I’m a very good candidate for metabolic treatment of cancer and it will be given in tandem with multiple types of chemotherapy: Taxotere, Avastin, Gemcitabine, Cisplatin and Doxil. The doses are low and given in tandem with the other treatments. I'm pretty sure that I will lose my hair (again) but we don't know yet.

I am excited and terrified about this next stage in my treatment and my life. I'm doing it - not for myself - but for my precious 5 young children who, need a mother. I pray that this will be the beginning of the end to skepticism as I did promise myself that I would "never do chemotherapy again"


My life isn't about me. My life is a miracle and a blessing and I will do all I can to give as much of it as I can to my family and of course to serve the Almighty Above.

Please pray for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta

Here we go.....

19 comments:

  1. love you and your incredible determination

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  2. Adrianne PasternakSunday, August 26, 2018

    You are more than exceptional.... praying everyday with a heart filled with gratitude that you are in my life. stay "strong" (whatever that means for you at any given hour) xoxo

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  3. You are in my prayers EVERY week when I take Challah and light the Shabbat candles, every day when I daven. You are a miracle for your children and for all of us. A shining light representing love and faith.

    May God watch over you in your journey and bring you back to your husband, children, family and friends in health and strength.

    You will remain in our hearts and thoughts as you take this next step. Sending hugs and prayers.

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  4. we never stop the prayers just as you never give up !

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  5. We love you. You inspire us all.sending hugs!!!

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  6. Never give up or give in they say .. that’s certainly been something you have done and now an amazing new path full of hope and determination . Prayers for all of your family

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  7. You are in my prayers always . You have tsught me how to recieve pain w grace ,love with no bounds,hope with all my heart have faith with compmete trust and never never give up .May Hashem send you a complete recovery and may miricles happen. I love you !

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  8. You are always in my prayers. I admire your strength and optimism and pray that Hashem will give you a complete recovery.

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  9. You ARE exceptional, as is your family, and I join everyone in praying that Hashem, through this new medical team, grants you a full recovery. Shana tova umetuka!

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  10. refuah shleimah, Gd willing

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  11. Praying for the best possible results from this new treatment so that you can continue to be a blessing to your family and our world.

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  12. I pray for you every day and hope they find a cure for you & everyone else with this disease

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  13. You are incredible and so strong. Praying for you always and sending love!

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  14. Ahava; I’m incredibly proud of you and proud to call you my friend. Your faith and hope is what’s keeping you with us and with your precious children, each and every day.
    WE are blessed to have you with us. I wish you an easy treatment in Istanbul, and the strength to come home soon to your beautiful family ❤️

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  15. Ahava Emuna behatzlacha behatzlacha behatzlacha I am praying for you , you have been an incredible source of inspiration for me all these years, i recently heard Mrs.Leah Rubashkin give a talk , bout Emuna Bitachon geula maybe you heard it I would love to send it to you I can send it if you are interested. i am at lauren.ron@gmail .com.My hashem bless you with a full recovery and very good health!Ad 120! and lots of nachas from all your kids and a life filled with bracha.
    love Lauren rOn

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  16. Dear Ahava........ you know that I am with you all the time and all the way. Love and kisses to you and Daddy Marty as you start another step on your journey. Your dear Great, great Uncle

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  17. I am holding you in my thoughts.

    All my love

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  18. You truly are exceptional. May Hashem give you a refuah shleimah through the new treatments. We are all davening for you.

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  19. I continue to pray for your complete recovery.
    Laurie Koretz

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