I'm 4 treatments into my current round of chemotherapy + Avastin and yet I have new tumors in my liver and most of the tumors (stomach, lung, lymph nodes etc) have grown stronger.
The news from my PET CT doesn't surprise me. It confirms that I'm truly in touch with my body. I can feel from within that the treatment is only making me sick, tired, and bald.
I'm living outside of my body as if I'm floating. I've finally reached that crossroads that can either be crossbones or something miraculous. As I walk across the lava and the razorblades, I know I will be surrounded by love and support. This might be my last chance.
Chemotherapy isn't working for a second time in under a year. This is where I stand and peer down two completely different roads. Which one shall I take?
I choose road: Plan Be. There is a treatment that I plan to try far far away from my home in Israel. I am teetering on a very narrow bridges of hot lava and razorblades. The "unknown" is agony. I'm blessed and hopeful yet terrified.
God, please help me live on with Plan Be. Please let this road, be the fairest of them all, and lead me to the right places. It may be new and not yet mainstream yet just maybe Plan Be will have the better claim - Because it is grassy and needs wear to clear the doubts.
Plan Be seems like an adventure worth taking and it is my greatest hope!
Please keep Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta in your prayers.