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Monday, December 5, 2016

Running With Cancer Not From It (retro post)

Jerusalem Marathon - 2014
The minute you have cancer, you’re either a survivor or a casualty, and, at worst, a victim. Don’t give me the statistics. Like my dad said when he became a cancer survivor over 10 years ago, “You’re either in the 100% or the 0%” (100% alive or 100% dead). When it showed up again and it was my turn we didn’t ask, “Why me?” or discuss how “it’s not fair.”  Everyone has their own cancer, struggle, or challenge. We’ve all got something going on and it’s just a tiny part of living. I often use the analogy of the pixel. If you zoom in on a digital photo you can see individual colorful squares or pixels, but not the full picture. Zoom out and you’ll see what’s really going on. I don’t connect with the metaphor of cancer being a war, fight, or a battle. Life is not a war or a fight for me. Life isn’t something to fight with, quit, or run away from. Life is a giant canvas and we are all tiny pixels. Every soul is an important part of the big picture. Someday we may merit to see that giant work of art…somewhere.

You can't run away from cancer 

My dad (survivor) & me during my first stint of chemo in 2012

Keep running

In my university days, I ran the Jerusalem half marathon two years in a row, I ran the San Diego half marathon, and the longest distance I ran was 35 kilometers straight with my dad when he was training for the Jordan ultra-marathon.

Run with the Cancer and not from it

I made up my mind that I’m never too sick to run and I’m probably a lot better off with the adrenaline along with the chemotherapy med.s coursing through my veins. My favorite drug is adrenaline. I look forward to being able to run as many kilometers as my body can handle. It helps to keep me sane; feel like something in my life is normal. I love the wind drying my sweat. I’m invigorated by my heart beating with life. My running gives me a break from feeling like a broken record with the needle stuck in a cancerous groove that repeats the same 1.8 seconds of track over and over again. 
Running in Beer Sheva 2015

The longer I run with cancer the more I realize that my type of cancer is great at keeping up. As of 2016, the cancer has come back twice since my original diagnosis. People I bump into say, “You look great!” and I say, “Thank you!” How lucky am I that I have cancer and I don’t look hideous?! 
The best element of being out alone on a run is what goes on in my mind. My mental state disconnects from my physical state and I experience life and thoughts that I’m otherwise unavailable for. It’s wonderful. It’s just me, my running shoes, and my music. There’s no cancer on a run and I sure feel like I’ve earned the break. Maybe the cancer will slow down and stay a few vital paces behind. I’ve been blessed with many miracles and I’ll keep hoping and praying for them. I’ll keep on running for as long as these legs will carry me.

Please continue to daven (pray) for Ahava Emunah bat Chava Ehta.

1 comment:

  1. Chanuka Sameach! I pray you are feeling well. In this week's Mishpacha there is an article about the soybean supplement and how ppl who take this along with the chemo feel good. Just wanted to share it with you. May Hashem bless you with a complete refuah! Amen!